From CAN HELPING OTHERS HELP YOU FIND MEANING IN LIFE? – “A recent STUDY by Roy Baumeister at Florida State University sought to investigate this and other differences between happiness and meaning. In a survey of over 300 participants, the researchers looked for traits and behaviors that were related to happiness (but not meaningfulness) and vice versa. The researchers found that having strong social connections was important for both happiness and meaningfulness. However, helping others in need and identifying oneself as a “giver” in relationships were related to meaning alone.” The article goes on to support ways in which helping others is connected to our basic psychological needs for autonomy, competence and relatedness. What are the ways that being a coach has increased your sense of meaning?

Coaches bring a unique approach to the patient/client relationship by viewing it as a collaboration. This partnership of equals does not rely on the expert knowledge of the coach to be the “hero” that can “fix” the patient/client. Instead of being the keeper of knowledge, the coach both elicits information from the client and openly shares knowledge, as needed. At its heart, coaching strives to build the confidence of the patient/client, by support them in gaining a sense of competence.  As in article in The Journal of Participatory Medicine, HOW A PATIENT WAS MOTIVATED BY READING HIS OFFICE NOTES, a wise coach lays all of the tools on the table and asks the client which they want to use, and how.

Travis Bradberry’s article in Entrepreneur Magazine was a great reminder of the importance of the beliefs we hold about our clients. In “8 UNREALISTIC EXPECTATIONS THAT CAN HARM YOU“, Bradberry alludes to the great quote from Henry Ford which goes something like, “Whether you think you can or you can’t, you’re right.” “Your expectations, more than anything else in life, determine your reality. When it comes to achieving your goals, if you don’t believe you’ll succeed, you won’t,” says Bradberry, “Indeed, we get the most out of other people when we believe in them. Research shows that this happens because when we believe in someone we: treat them better than people we think will fail;  give them more opportunities to succeed than we give those we think will fail; give them more accurate, helpful feedback than we give others; and, we do more teaching because we believe it’s time well spent.” This phenomenon is similar to the “Pygmalion Effect;” a persistently held belief in another person such that the belief becomes a reality. In other words, what we see is what we get. And so, with our clients, we must be aware of our expectations and labels. When we have labeled a client as stubborn, unfocused, non-compliant and so on, our coaching behaviors follow suite. As we unconsciously begin to treat that client as stubborn, lazy, and non-compliant, the client is more likely to reciprocate with that behavior. Changing our expectations and negative labels allows us to see the client in a new light. Look at the positive side of a stubborn, for example. A “stubborn” client could instead be appreciated for their willingness to persist in the face of difficulties. A “unfocused” client could be appreciated for their energy and zest. Persistence, energy and zest are, in fact, traits that are often highly admired. As your vocabulary changes, so does your perspective. You begin to focus on strengths and potential, and through your own signals, send the message to your client that you believe in their potential, holding them in positive regard. Coaching inquiries: What words do you use to describe your client, out loud or in your head?  How are these assets for them?

Several years ago, I received a new hair dryer with a special “ionizing” feature. This option releases negative ions, which break down the water molecules on your wet hair so they can be absorbed into your follicles, leaving one with super-moisturized locks that feel silky and look healthier. And, oh, I felt wonderful! My hair was better than it ever had been  – cooperative, shiny, and stylish. Two weeks after receiving the hair dryer, I was examining it and realized I had not even turned on the ionizing feature! How could this be? I had certainly felt a noticeable difference in my appearance since buying this new gadget. Then, I remembered Dr. Wayne Dyer’s book, YOU’LL SEE IT WHEN YOU BELIEVE IT, a detailed account of how to change not only the way you perceive reality, but reality itself. Dr. Dyer’s assertion that “Thoughts are the ways in which we can make virtually anything happen” had become my reality. I believed that my hair dryer was making something special out of my hair, and so that is what I experienced. There is such power in what we believe about ourselves and what is possible. When working with clients, I often have them write “I am” statements related to the goals they are working toward. For example, there is much more energy and intentionality in saying “I am a brilliant children’s author” than in saying “I will be a brilliant children’s author.” Change begins with one’s belief in the ability to make it so. Transformation begins with one’s belief that it is so. In her blog, “THE SCIENCE OF WHAT WE BELIEVE BECOMES OUR REALITY“, Georgianna Donadio reminds us of a quote from James Allen: “Mind is the Master Power that molds and makes, and we are mind. And ever more we take the tool of thought, and shaping what we will, bring forth a thousand joys, or a thousand ills. We think in secret, and it comes to pass, environment, is but our looking glass.” Donadio also cites an article from HARVARD MAGAZINE in which the placebo effect proved that “patients’ perceptions matter, and the ways physicians frame perceptions can have significant effects on their patients’ health.” In coaching, just as our positive beliefs about ourselves enhance our ability to create the best in ourselves, our negative beliefs about ourselves create our negative experiences. If you believe you don’t deserve it, you won’t get what you deserve. It you believe you are a failure, so you may be. Coaching Questions: What is it you are wishing for right now and what are the beliefs you have about your ability to achieve it? What is the one “I am” statement you could adopt that could transform your life?

From a RECENT ARTICLE in Neuroscience News: “The most stressful scenario is when you really don’t know. It’s the uncertainty that makes us anxious. The same is likely to apply in many familiar situations, whether it’s waiting for medical results or information on train delays.” The article focuses on a study where subjects who were uncertain (had a 50/50 chance) of receiving a mild shock experienced more stress than those who knew they were going to be shocked (and, of course, those who knew they weren’t!) However, the experiment also showed that, at peak stress levels, subjects were better at guessing whether or not they would receive a shock. When coaches work with clients to set goals and make plans for new behaviors, there are often many uncertainties at play. First, we want to acknowledge the uncertainty with empathy. Noticing and naming the feelings that can arise when looking into the unknown can help tame the frenzy caused by any negative feelings. Allow the client to acknowledge their presence, rather than ignoring, or stepping over, them.  They are often indicators of important information that can contribute to safety. Next, create the circumstances for certainty. Build plans that are deeply rooted in the clients strengths, motivations and past successes. Don’t stop at setting goals – build the scaffolding around the goals that will contribute to success. Ask about what habits, structures, and supports systems they need to achieve the plan. And, lastly, honor the contribution of the client’s instincts and sense of confidence. The study tells us that, in times of uncertainty, we are built to sense danger. Honoring the client’s autonomy, let them be the guide in deciding which path to take on their own journey to behavior change.

While your environment may not allow the time for a full coaching conversation, utilizing all of the tools and theories related to behavior change, you can take the “coach approach”, even in a short patient visit, with these tips in mind: 1. Be a Role Model. Engage in upgrading your personal health behaviors in order to walk the walk. Be patient and understanding in discussing how to change when change is hard. 2. Be Present. Give your undivided attention to a patient, not distracted by your thoughts, infinite to-do list, papers, or computer screen. Stop the clock for a few moments and cultivate a deep level of presence so that you listen with all of your brain’s resources. 3. Share Positive Emotions. Ask patients about what is going well in their lives, in their health, what they are enjoying most, what puts a spring in their steps, what they are most grateful for. Positive emotions improve the brain’s potential to learn, strategize, and find creative solutions for challenges. 4. Improve Self-Compassion. In our high-achieving culture, most people are highly critical of themselves, not accepting, judgmental, or compassionate toward their own suffering and failings, all of which assist in regulating negative emotions. Model self-compassion for your own suffering, and radiate compassion for the messiness of being human, and the many challenges that make it hard to take good care of one’s health. 5. Elicit Motivation. The bigger the why the easier the how. Help people dig deep to find what they treasure most about their lives and why health is an important resource, the means to what they desire most in life. 6. Improve Confidence. Motivation goes to sleep when confidence is low. Help patients articulate several ways that might work to overcome challenges, which builds confidence and hope. Whether you think you can, or think you can’t, you are right, says Henry Ford. 7. Welcome and Learn from Setbacks. Help patients adopt the growth mindset, not a success/fail or self-esteem based mindset. Every step is simply an experiment. Every result brings more learning. Problems are opportunities in work-clothes, said Henry Ford. 8. Foster Creativity. Brainstorm possibilities to overcome challenges in a light and playful manner in order to generate new ideas, the wilder the better until new energy and insights emerge. 9. Catalyze Insights. View your role as a catalyst of your patient’s insights, not the know-it-all expert. Facilitate the generation of insights through provocative open questions and creative reflections. Get out of sales and into fishing. 10. Set a behavioral goal. Help patients define and commit to a behavioral goal. Any action, even small behavioral steps, starts momentum for the change journey. It’s easier to change course when there is momentum than to overcome inertia.

We’ve all wanted to help friends or family members through a tough situation, right? Our hearts are in the right place; we truly want to make their lives better, easier. That’s a good thing – if we choose to help in a way that actually benefits them. Check out Kate Larsen’s blog on THE ARROGANCE OF FIXING PEOPLE.

In her article, “BASIC PITFALLS OF USING NVC,” Miki Kashtan reminds us of the importance of the spirit in this approach to communication. The practice of NVC, or Nonviolent Communication, is less about the “doing” of coaching and more about the “being” of coaching. When we get caught up in the mechanics of doing it, rather than the intention of the outcome, we may lose sight of the ultimate goal – compassion. In fact, many organizations and practitioners of NVC have moved away from the language of “nonviolence” to using “compassionate communication”.  That better describes what we are moving toward as coaches, rather than what we are moving away from. As described on the Center for Nonviolent Communication WEBSITE: NVC is the natural state of compassion when no violence is present in the heart. NVC reminds us what we already instinctively know about how good it feels to authentically connect to another human being. With NVC we learn to hear our own deeper needs and those of others. Through its emphasis on deep listening—to ourselves as well as others—NVC helps us discover the depth of our own compassion. If you are a coach who is new to “practicing” compassionate communication, we encourage you to begin with the intention to connect. Far more meaningful than the how of the methodology (identifying feelings, needs, strategies and observations), is the why of it. Use introspection to center your focus on deepening your listening as pathway to connection: – What is alive for me as I approach this coaching conversation? – What am I feeling? – What can I do to have my needs met so that I may shift focus to the needs of my client? – How can I honor my clients feelings throughout our conversation? – What is my intention?

“The human soul doesn’t want to be advised or fixed or saved. It simply wants to be witnessed — to be seen, heard and companioned exactly as it is. When we make that kind of deep bow to the soul of a suffering person, our respect reinforces the soul’s healing resources, the only resources that can help the sufferer make it through.” – Parker Palmer Read more from Parker Palmer in THE GIFT OF PRESENCE, THE PERILS OF ADVICE. For consideration: How can you make a deep bow to your clients? What resources does your client have that deserve great honor? How does your desire to “fix” undermine the needs of your client?

Are you burned out? Margaret Moore explores burnout, and physician burnout, in Institute of Coaching July 2016 coaching report: OW.LY/PP3R301ZESS

In addition to a reliance on a breadth and depth of psychological theories on behavior change, our coaching protocols also honor what we can learn from other disciplines, such as design and innovation. In reviewing Fast Company’s recent article on the concepts of design, SEVEN ESSENTIALS FROM THE HARVARD INNOVATION LAB, there are many principles which overlap with a masterful coach approach. 1. “Be A Sponge…Innovators are intellectually curious and thrive on absorbing new information that may help their ideas.” Curiosity is also one of the most important ingredients to great coaching – both in coach and client. It begins with the coach putting aside assumptions about who the client is and what the client can do, which supports the client in being more curious in the exploration of who they are and what they are capable of. 2. “Narrow Is A Good Place To Start…If you want to lay the groundwork for a big idea, focus on developing one segment of it until it has strong roots.”  Yes, coaching encourages the visioning of large, compelling outcomes.  And, we also acknowledge that a bridge to those outcomes must be built upon actionable goals that are grounded in a client’s competence and confidence. 3. “Ideas Are Great—But Execution Is What Matters…the real opportunity for innovation lies in how you make it happen.” Building a client’s competence and confidence comes from designing goals that have a clear and measurable outcome which deeply explore the support and structures needed to succeed. We ask, “What are people, places, things, habits and mindsets needed to achieve the outcome you want?” and then gather those resources for execution. 4.”Getting Better Is Messy…being creative and innovative means that you’re going to try many things that don’t work.”And, even the best laid plans can’t predict all of the pitfalls of experimenting with new behaviors. This is why we treat “goals” as “experiments”, each test an opportunity to observe, learn, adjust and try again. As coaches, we are collaborative designers and architectural partners in our client’s lives, ensuring the scaffolding is place to build the pathway to the client’s dreams.

OUTCOMES ACROSS THE VALUE CHAIN is a peer-reviewed article published in July 2016 examining a corporate wellness intervention for over 150,000 employees.  Health coaching was offered only to those employees at greater risk meaning about 49,500 were eligible.  After learning about health coaching about half decided to give it a try and of these 78% (~19,800) completed the recommended four coaching sessions within one year. The program was highly successful with coached participants significantly (p < .05) improving: •    Systolic and diastolic blood pressure •    BMI •    LDL-cholesterol, triglycerides, and glucose •    Absenteeism and employment termination (involuntary or voluntary) •    Medical utilization (emergency room visits, hospital admission, and hospital lengths of stay) •    Medical costs Besides reporting these tremendous outcome improvements after coaching, the authors created a unique system of health engagement to classify participants.  They considered high engagement as regular health coaching, education, and goal achievement while low engagement involved a lesser experience with these practices.  In other words, high engagement meant fully buying into behavior change activities and succeeding at the process. At the study’s end, nearly 15,500 participants were classified as high engagers.  It should be no surprise that high engagers got the best results averaging 3.9% better (one-year change scores) improvement than controls across all 33 outcome variables measured. This study was very impressive not only because of participant number (nearly 20,000 making it the largest-ever study of coaching) and great outcomes, but also what we can learn from how coaching participants were selected and categorized.  Employees who had the most to gain, and who became fully engaged in the coaching and behavior change processes, were most successful in this wellness program.   Such an interpretation of these findings might inform both large employers and individuals (as well as health and wellness coaches) about who is ready to become invested in the coaching process. Whether you are working with a big company or a single client, here are some important take-away points from this landmark study that might help you: •    Largest peer-reviewed study of health and wellness coaching published to date •    Significant improvements in nearly all of 33 outcome variables (including medical costs and employee turnover) for high engagers over one year (see the citation for all variables1) •    Only high-risk employees were offered health coaching and not all of these were ready to make change (nearly 65% of those initially interested in coaching turned into high engagers) •    Those who fully engaged in the behavior change process produced the best results •    If an employee/client is not prepared to fully engage then coaching may not be as effective as it otherwise might be – consider first investing in those with the best likelihood of success •    Measurement of Readiness-to-Change (Transtheoretical Model) may be a key predictor of client success in the coaching process (but this hypothesis awaits confirmation from future research) Listen to a WEBINAR REGARDING THE RESEARCH. Outcomes Across the Value Chain for a Comprehensive Employee Health and Wellness Intervention A Cohort Study by Degrees of Health Engagement D. Adam Long, PhD, Roger W. Reed, BSN, and Ian Duncan, B Phil J Occup Environ Med. 2016 Jul;58(7):696-706 DOI: 10.1097/JOM.0000000000000765.