Every new year offers the opportunity to hit the refresh button and make a fresh start on something we have yearned to improve for a while yet have not achieved lasting success. We may have been motivated all year long to tackle the New Year’s resolutions we made, having the burning desire to improve health, happiness, and productivity.  We may have had the confidence – the well-grounded belief that we have the ability to be successful. Yet, for some reason, we did not bring our vision to fruition. This is a very common phenomenon. Having the Best of Intentions Is Often Not Enough Statistics show that a large number of New Year’s Resolutions are never realized. While the numbers vary from study to study, one thing is clear, people start the New Year with the best of intentions. Some write them down, others proudly announce them to friends and family because they feel certain in their hearts that they will be triumphant. Yet by year’s end, success has not been achieved. If they have the motivation and the confidence to succeed but do not, what is missing? Explaining the Gap between Aspiration and Goal Achievement Harvard psychologists Robert Kegan and Lisa Lahey have spent years studying why our sincere best efforts to change often go awry. The authors are advocates of a theory called constructive-development. The constructive-developmental approach is a combination of two theories—constructivism and development—and describes how we make meaning or interpret our experiences over time. In his book, The Evolving Self, Kegan emphasizes the importance of meaning making in human development. Contending that making meaning is a physical, social, and survival activity, he states, “well-fed, warm, and free of disease, you may still perish if you cannot ‘mean.’” Kegan and Lahey employ this theoretical scaffolding to address why there is a gap between our aspirations and our ability to effect lasting behavioral change. They maintain that, without significant changes in the underlying meanings that give rise to behavior, it is very difficult for an individual to sustain new behaviors. Which is why behavioral change takes more than motivation and confidence. Overcoming Immunity to Change In their most recent book, Immunity to Change, Kegan and Lahey address the conundrum of unfulfilled New Year’s resolutions. They write, “When we make a New Year’s resolution, we look at the behaviors we seek to extinguish as bad; we look at the behaviors we want to amplify as good. But until we understand the commitments that make the obstructive behaviors at the same time brilliantly effective, we have not correctly formulated the problem.”1 According to the authors, desire and motivation are not enough. The only way to move forward towards lasting change is to discover the hid- den commitments we have that obstruct our behaviors—in short, the underlying agenda that is driving us when we should be in the driver’s seat. The authors argue that, in addition to our physiological immune system that works to preserve our biological equilibrium, we have a second kind of immunity—an immunity to change, which works to preserve the status quo. Our immunity to change is made up of hidden commitments that drive our behavior. We become “subject to” them to the point where they “have us” in their grip rather than their being an “object” of our thoughts. The authors believe that we must identify  these  underlying commitments,  which they call big assumptions, and objectify them, so that we are no longer subject to them. Only then can we achieve lasting behavioral change. How might this work in practice? An example is a client who may complain that no matter how hard she has tried, she cannot lose weight and that her weight is preventing her from finding an intimate partner. In reality, she may have a fear of losing the spontaneity of enjoying food that drives her to eat in an undisciplined fashion. Her underlying commitment to eat with abandon and pleasure trumps her conscious desire to lose weight. When this big assumption is brought to light, then she is free to choose which commitment she wishes to uphold. Now she can proceed towards lasting change by testing her assumption, such as eating a smaller portion size slowly and noticing that she does not feel deprived. Coaching for Change Tool In Immunity to Change, Kegan and Lahey offer a valuable approach that can be used by coaches to pinpoint and uproot issues to overcome immunity to change, thus releasing their clients’ potential for growth and success. They offer a five column chart that can be used with clients to determine: visible commitment, doing/not doing instead, hid- den competing commitments, big assumptions, and a first S.M.A.R.T. test—preparing to test the big assumptions. The authors write, “Our purpose is to put in your hands a new conceptual and practical means to unleash capabilities in yourself and your colleagues.” Their model delivers on their promise. Conclusion Behavior change is difficult, even with the best of intentions. A large majority of New Year’s resolutions are never realized. Yet, if we look beyond motivation and confidence to the hidden commitments that “have us,” and work to fulfill the marvelous visions and goals we have, we can make a fresh start for the New Year. Originally published in ACSM Certified News Coaching Column

Positivity Leads to Resilience Let’s revisit the connection between positivity and resilience. According to Barbara Fredrickson, Ph.D., the leading positive emotion researcher, positivity includes a wide range of positive emotions. The top ten in frequency are: joy, gratitude, serenity, interest, hope, pride, amusement, inspiration, aw e, and love. Fredrickson and collaborators discovered the tipping point positivity ratio of 3:1, which is three positive emotions for one negative emotion.2 Above the tipping point, people are resilient. They have the resources to change and grow, and bounce back from adversity. Below the tipping point, people languish and fall into a downward spiral. Fredrickson’s research has shown that positivity is the main mechanism of action for resilience. Hence, a main determinant of resilience is the ability to foster positive emotions when we are swimming in a sea of negativity. So what forms of positivity might be in action for people and organizations in Japan? Positivity and Resilience in Action One of the most heartwarming aspects of the common reaction of people and communities to severe crises is the abundant outpouring of love , support, and connection. Crises often bring us to our knees and help us appreciate how our relationships with others are truly the backbone of our lives, to survive and beyond that to thrive. Taking time to help another, even ahead of one’s own needs, is nourishing for the giver and receiver. Another common response to crisis is a sense of deep gratitude and appreciation for one’s having survived a serious crisis. The value of material possessions slips away as we come to appreciate the gift of waking up every morning to a new day, new possibilities, and new learning. We may even feel awe for the amazing talents of humans to adapt and respond beautifully to enormous loss and suffering. Some will feel awe for the power and force of Mother Nature — even when she unleashes massive destruction in natural disasters. Faced with adversity, resilient people are in t e re s t e d , open, and curious, hunting for silver linings and ways to foster positive emotions as the fuel to put one foot in front of the other to rebuild lives and communities. Developing a sense of profound meaning and purpose is a rich vein of positivity — how can I make a difference, how can I use my strengths to help others recover and rebuild? How can I make lemonade out of lemons — to notice, amplify, and harvest the many lessons that emerge from a huge setback? When we make a difference individually and collectively, slowly, arduously, and patiently, we find pride in our accomplishments, which propels us to keep going. When we observe the courageous efforts of others who are close or distant, we are inspired further to continue forward progress. Hope for the Future Fuels Positivity and Resilience My observation is that one’s relationship to one’s future is a particularly critical source of positivity for our well-being. Hope for a better future is an important contributor to  our positivity and resilience. Hence, all of the positivity emerging from crisis already described — love, gratitude, awe, interest, pride, and inspiration — provides the positive energy that “hopefully” takes us to hope: a sense that better days are ahead and we have the resources to get there. And perhaps if we’re lucky, we can find small moments of the last three of the ten most common positive emotions — joy, serenity, and amusement — to find things to smile and laugh about, to be at peace with one’s self, and even feel a little joy from new beginnings.

One of the brilliant advances in the application of positive psychology to human flourishing relates to group performance and is a concept which emerged from a dynamic collaboration between two scientists, Marcial Losada and Barbara Fredrickson. This work was summarized in their 2005 paper: Positive Affect and the Complex Dynamics of Human Flourishing. Losada has made an inarguable case for the pivotal role of positive emotions in successful group performance concepts, which can be applied to group exercise settings in support of both individual and group flourishing. Let’s start with the raw data: In the 1990s, Losada and his assistants painstakingly coded every single statement, moment by moment in chronological order, made in videotaped meetings of 60 teams in a large international corporation who were crafting business missions and strategic plans. The coding tracked three dimensions, which Losada predicted would be vital and interdependent, building on each other in either an upward or downward spiral: 1.    Was a statement positive or negative? 2.    Was a statement self-focused or other- focused? 3.    Was a statement based on inquiry or advocacy? Independently, Losada also identified whether these groups were high, medium, or low performers based upon a number of critical success factors. The Butterfly – a nonlinear dynamic system Losada validated a set of mathematical equations to capture the relationship among the three dimensions and calculated a new variable called connectivity, which measured how much each group member influenced the behavior of others (mutual influence) and how attuned and responsive group members were to each other. Losada ran the raw data through his mathematical model and voila, the butterfly graphs (Figure) came to life. When mutual influence reaches a critical level, a butterfly appears and grows. Then Losada’s breakthrough came, inspired by Fredrickson’s work on demonstrating the point into a positivity ratio or tipping point of 2.9 to 1. A tipping point that leads to flourishing rather than languishing of groups is above a positivity ratio of 2.9 positive emotions to every negative emotion. In the Figure, the first butterfly with the tall and wide wings is the data plotting of the high performance groups. The vertical axis of the left graph represents the level of positive emotions and you see that the high performance groups have high positivity ratios. Also on the left graph, the left half of the horizontal axis is a rating of open inquiry, while the right half is a rating of advocacy. The high performing groups’ butterfly has a wide wing span representing an outward focus and a broad and balanced range of inquiry and advocacy. For the exercise professional, this would represent creating an environment in which clients are encouraged to be creative, open-minded and supportive of one another if in a group setting. The mixed performance groups are represented by the second butterfly, lower positivity levels (below the tipping point), a narrower range of inquiry and advocacy, along with a more restrictive emotional space and less connectivity. For the exercise professional, this would represent creating an environment in which there is little emotional connection with and between  represent the languishing of low performance groups. No butterfly here, not even a little one. They are stuck in a cocoon of restrictive, distrustful, and cynical self-absorbed advocacy from the start, losing behavioral flexibility all together. For the exercise professional, this would represent creating an environment in which the agenda of the exercise expert takes priority of the needs of the client or group. Here are some of Losada’s discoveries about groups that also can be applied to the exercise professional in relationship with a client or group: 1.    Start by creating a positive and appreciative dynamic. Begin each session by asking about client successes, best experiences, and new hopes. This positive start builds the positive emotions needed to address challenges later. 2.    Allow yourself to open and broaden. Be aware of your limiting bias- es and assumptions about client stereotypes. Be curious about what’s new – what can you learn from each client and their experiences? 3.    Get out of the way of your personal need to control outcomes. Invite your client to explore her/his own motivation and agenda for change. 4.    Keep the ratio of positive and negative topics above 3:1. Make sure that 75% of your time together is focused on positive topics, asking positive questions, providing affirmations, exploring strengths, new possibilities, or success stories, and 25% is focused on more negative topics such as challenges and concerns. 5.    Be attentive to and build on the contributions and synergy of every- one’s strengths. Learn about your clients strengths and explore how to leverage those strengths for greater success. One excellent tool for identifying strengths is the Values in Action Character Strengths Survey  (www.viacharacter.org). 6.    Balance authentic, open-minded inquiry and exploration with advocacy of what you believe is the best approach. Your expertise is valuable but your client may learn more from self-awareness and insight that emerges from your carefully chosen questions and reflections. 7.    Grow perspectives to something bigger than self. Support clients in identifying how their individual changes will help them make a larger contribution, which they value personally, to their friends, family, col- leagues, and the world. 8.    Allow the system to be chaotic in the moment in order to flourish and easily absorb bumps and blows over time. Bring a belief in your client’s resilience to bumps on his or her path and in your working relationship. Engage the client in learning from every outcome, even when a goal is not met, by viewing every experience as a win/learn opportunity rather than a win/lose situation. Watch and enjoy how the butterfly combines beauty and subtlety to create an unexpectedly wonderful impact on your individual clients and groups. Originally published in Coaching Certified News Coaching Column

The human race has reached a point of information overload, or at least a point where people often feel so overwhelmed by daily demands that they risk their lives while driving for one more text or phone call. Some people consider the distraction epidemic the psychological equivalent of obesity epidemic. Fitness professionals are not immune to overload, perhaps at times you feel distracted, stressed, or disorganized. You may find it hard to bring your full attention to client after client, or shift your whole, undivided attention to family and friends when you are not working. In the new book Organize Your Mind, Organize Your Life, to be launched January 2012 by Harvard Health Books and Harlequin, I team up with Harvard psychiatrist and Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) expert Paul Hammerness, M.D., to describe six rules of order for using “top down” organization, or brain science to move from a state of frenzy to get to the big picture around the small and large domains of life. While you may sometimes be disorganized, your brain is not. The brain is a jewel of organization and structure, of different components working harmoniously together. Other models of “getting organized” begin with organizing your priorities, time, and surroundings—your desk, your household, rather than organizing your mind. The Organize Your Mind rules relate to brain or “cognitive” abilities that are embedded features in our brains, waiting to be switched on. Here’s a brief preview of the six rules and how you can use them to improve your energy, creativity, and productivity. Rule 1: Tame the Frenzy Before you can get focused, you need to get into control, or at least have a handle on your emotional frenzy, various negative thoughts and emotions that are buzzing around you. This frenzy impairs and overwhelms the prefrontal cortex, the brain’s CEO region, so that you can’t “think straight.” While an optimal dose of stress is a valuable state for stretching you to learn, too much negativity rapidly depletes your brain. Recovery is stress’s best friend, allowing you to rest and recharge so that you are ready to resume an intense and productive focus. Exercise your body, do a mindfulness practice, or choose the slow lane from time to time. These activities will help tame your frenzy, allow space for productive thinking and reflecting so that you can calmly regain your focus and perspective. Rule 2: Sustain Attention Sustained focus is now possible in your calm, grounded state. Stay connected to your intention: what is the goal of the moment, closely watching a client’s muscle alignment in a training session, or connecting with a loved one—what are you calling your attention to focus on? Keep your thinking on-track and your plans in place before engaging with distractions around you. Begin to maintain your uni-focus, one task or client at a time, and set aside all other distractions for a precious period. Rule 3: Apply the Brakes Your focused brain also needs to be able to stop, just as surely as a good pair of brakes brings your car to a halt at a red light. From time to time, move the spotlight of your attention on asking whether you should continue to focus on the task at hand. When a new piece of information comes to you in the midst of an important task, stop and consider whether this new data point now trumps what just was priority #1. To be able to stop is vital—a thoughtful application of the brakes, not simply succumbing mindlessly to either hyper-focus or distraction. Rule 4: Mold Information Your brain has the remarkable ability to hold various pieces of information it has intently focused upon, analyzed, and processed, and then use this information to guide future action—even after the information is completely out of visual sight. This brain skill of gathering and holding your “working memory,” allows you to simultaneously concentrate on the larger important task, while accumulating the data needed to better inform what you decide to do next. For example, you may think to yourself: “I asked my client to do x, then noticed y, and remembered  from a prior session, so I decide to switch to a new approach.” Be intentional in your self-talk to draw on your working memory so you can quickly run different scenarios through in your head. Think beyond one moment in time, asking: how has my client responded in the past, and how did that work or not work? Rule 5: Shift Sets The combination of a well functioning working memory with the ability to shift your full attention quickly from task to task, a state of mental agility, leads to creative leaps in thinking. Rather than rigidly following a linear path, of say writing an article or designing a new exercise program without stop, allow your mind to jump, even leap, by welcoming the input of distractions or seeking out distractions (searching the web, reading a new article, having a conversation with a colleague) to generate new insights and ideas. Cultivate lightness in thought, be flexible and nimble, and be ready to move your full attention completely from one activity to another in the service of making new connections. We are not talking about multi-tasking here. The brain is designed to focus only on one thing at a time. Multitasking leads you to an incomplete focus on all of the tasks, so that at the end of the day you feel you didn’t do anything beautifully. Shifting sets is about shifting your full attention completely from one task to the next, shining all of your brain’s resources on one activity at a time. Amazingly the task left completely behind benefits from the incubation period and when you return to it fully, new ideas will likely emerge. Rule 6: Connect the Dots Putting all of these “rules” together helps you stay on task in the moment, not succumb to distraction, and have creative ideas. It also moves you in the direction of connecting the dots, revealing a big picture and an organized mind in small or large  domains of your life. You may develop a clearer vision of what will work best for a client or a welcome, new perspective on where to direct your career. Following these “Organize Your Mind” rules allows you to push the on and off buttons of your focus with calm intention. Soon you will find moments, then hours, then days and weeks of calm, sustained focus, mastering your impulses, and enjoying mental flexibility, creativity, and connectivity. Say goodbye to distraction and say hello to the beauty of an organized mind. Originally published in ACSM Certified News Coaching Column

In this column, we explore how to coach a client, Alice, who is working out but not sticking to the workout program that you gave her. She is rushing through her gym program and seems to be neglecting all the things she does not like. Those things happened to be the most important parts of her program! Let’s consider what is driving Alice. Self-motivation — Alice’s power source Our first and primal drive as human beings is autonomy. We want to march to our own drummers, to be “the boss of me.” This drive is so strong that it triggers a deeply wired and very fast response to being told what to do— to resist or rebel—without a whole lot of analysis. Our knee-jerk rebellion is so powerful that it can lead us to do things that are not in our best interest. If you have teenage kids, you can appreciate how telling kids what to do for 13 years turns them into rebellious teenagers who are sick and tired of living a life with too little autonomy at home and school. We never lose our natural and spontaneous aversion to being told what to do, especially in response to a “know- it-all” expert who doesn’t fully empathize and appreciate what it’s like to walk in our shoes and what is important to us. Sometimes we are compliant with what an expert asks us to do in order to please the expert, avoid conflict, and stay out of trouble. But sometimes we are defiant; we quietly or loudly resist the authoritative expert and their control over our destiny. Alice likely doesn’t agree with you on what’s important in her workout and may not yet be interested or curious enough to deepen her understanding of how different exercises impact her physical strength and fitness. She simply may be rebelling against your insistence on what she should do and expressing her need for autonomy by doing what she wants to do. A coaching inquiry might include asking Alice open-ended questions, with a smile and not even a smidgeon of impatience, such as: 1.    What do you hope will be the benefit of physical strength and vitality for you? 2.    How will engaging in your workout make your life better? 3.    Would you like to brainstorm with me on how the various exercises in your work- out will contribute to the benefit of exercise in making your life better? 4.    What is working for you with the current workout and what is not? 5.    How can I better support you to realize the benefit of physical fitness? Your goal is to help Alice dig out and fire up her self-motivation, the kind that is future-oriented—why the exercises really matter to her and how they will make her life better later today, tomorrow, and in the future. You will help Alice discover and tap into her own future-oriented power source or drive to engage in the exercises she doesn’t like or seem to want to do. We inadvertently create resistance to  our  advice when we convey a know-it-all attitude through what we say, how we say it, our body language, and unsaid words. This can send a message which seems judgmental and autonomy-depleting to Alice, causing her to pull away and not open up with you. Really start to listen intently to Alice without thinking about what you are going to say next, or any other distraction. This will help Alice get the message that you really care about what it’s like to walk in her shoes, what matters to her most, and that you’re completely focused on her well-being, not on her compliance to your prescribed workout. The more genuine interest you show about what makes Alice’s life worth living and lights up her eyes, the more she will tell you about what matters most to her. Then a collaborative conversation on how her workout can make it possible for Alice to have a better life and will lead to a new workout design that Alice helped create, leading to her full engagement in a workout that she owns. Now she can march through her workout to her own drummer, a drummer that wants a bigger life, one made possible by a body which is fit, strong, and brimming with energy. Originally published in ACSM Certified News Coaching Column

In this article, we explore how to coach a client whose work responsibilities bring increased stress, leading to unhealthy food choices and overeating. First, let’s explore how stress leads to poor health choices. The brain’s region for self-direction, self-control, self-management, and self-coaching is the prefrontal cortex (PFC), behind our foreheads (the red area in the Figure), which I like to describe as the CEO domain of the brain. The PFC at its best appreciates and deftly manages our negative emotions, and drives our attention and focus so we are calm, organized, creative, wise, strategic, and productive. The conditions that enable optimal function of the prefrontal cortex include a calm, positive, and energetic mindset supported by a healthy, fit, well-nourished, and well-rested body. When we are tired, stressed, unfit, and poorly nourished, when our emotional weather report is negative or “cloudy,” the PFC is impaired. It struggles to stay in control and on top of distractions, impulses, and stay focused on doing a good job on the task at hand. A calm and energetic PFC can: •    Set overwhelm aside and enjoy a focus on the task at hand •    Stay focused on meaningful goals and a higher purpose, resisting temptations that are in fact “error” messages •    Recognize that cravings (checking texts, junk food, etc.) and negative emotions fade and go away like clouds in the sky •    Be self-compassionate and not indulge the inner critic •    Find the positive silver linings in stressors and negative emotions, thoughts, and events •    Detach from a negative emotional weather report to get a strategic perspective (“maybe I’m overreacting…”) A depleted PFC is hijacked easily by: •    Overwhelm caused by a daunting to-do list •    Cravings for “addictive” foods and drinks •    The negative self talk of a mean inner critic, triggering the inner rebel to make an unhealthy choice •    A negative emotional weather pattern, clouding the ability to notice and savor positive moments •    An overdose of stress, leading us to feel out of control How can you help your clients improve the function of the PFC and stay confidently in control, happily making healthy choices? Be a great role model, and suggest they experiment with one or more of the following and discover what combination of habits works best: •    Drive: Create a compelling vision and goal for the moment, the day, month, or year (e.g., to radiate energy and health) to bring to mind at the moment you have a choice to make, dozens of times each day. Design the vision and goal (e.g., picture, poem, or statement) so that it energizes you when you recall it and inspires you to make a healthy choice most of the time. •    Exercise: Over time, regular exercise leads to a strengthening of the PFC and its capacity to manage negative emotions and stress. •    Brain breaks: Take brain breaks where you allow your mind to wander, or move your mind’s attention to your heart through deep breathing, or move your muscles through a few stretches or strength exercises. Even 2 to 5 minutes of walking, stair climbing, or yoga poses will refresh the PFC. Nothing is better than a good night’s sleep, or even a catnap to hit the PFC’s reset button. •    Self-compassion: Turn your inner critic into your inner friend. Be kind to yourself. Negative self-talk is particularly depleting. •    Mindful practices: Take deep breaths or do short meditations to unhook the mind from the frenzy of out-of-control thoughts and emotions. Create mental pauses when making decisions on eating and exercise to give the PFC a moment to get back into the driver’s seat. Regular meditation also improves PFC function over time. •    Savor and cultivate positive emotions: Positive emotions were designed to be fleeting, like butterflies, in contrast with negative emotions, which move lightning fast and stick like Velcro. Positive emotions improve cognitive function, in contrast with the impairment caused by negative emotions. Cultivate a ratio of at least three positive emotions for each negative emotion (check out your ratio at www.positivityratio.com) so that you have the cognitive resources to manage or overcome the negative in your life. •    Connect with people you care about: The most powerful positive emotions “lighting up” our brains are those we share with others. Express gratitude for someone’s contribution to your life, do some- thing nice and unexpected for someone, or harvest and celebrate what’s going well with people you care about. •    Nourish your brain: Feed your brain a nice steady dose of glucose, enabled by a good balance of lean protein, healthy fats, and complex carbohydrates. A well-nourished brain is a brain that wants to make healthy choices. Thankfully the field of neuroscience has caught up with the mind/body practices. Here’s to a world full of high functioning prefrontal cortexes—calm, positive, energetic, healthy, fit, well-nourished, and well-rested.

Today we explore how to work with a client who is not engaged in following evidence-based or scientific guidelines, including preventive tests, and is not seeking out reputable sources on the Web and beyond. Instead, s/he hunts down information and recommendations from non-reputable sources, while not listening to your well-informed advice. It goes without saying that those reading this article honor and respect the scientific method, are skeptical of recommendations that lack a scientific foundation, and stay within the bounds of evidence- based guidelines that are worthy of publication in a peer-reviewed journal or textbook. The construct of evidence-based medicine has been around for about 20 years and is a relatively new, but essential paradigm in exercise program design and implementation. We are taught to refrain from making recommendations that are not firmly rooted in well-designed research studies, the more the better. However, our clients may not be like us. They may not trust or respect science-based recommendations. Perhaps they think of themselves as right-brain types who didn’t enjoy science courses in their education, and value intuition and creativity more than the scientific method. Maybe they are frustrated with the limitations of the scientific method, which generates recommendations based upon aver- ages and bell curves that don’t seem relevant to their personal circumstances. They may be more interested in what complementary and alternative practitioners have to say because these practitioners treat people who have been failed by conventional medicine. Some are justifiably concerned about how medical guidelines change dramatically over time. Lively debates have emerged recently among scientists and in the media about the pros/cons of mammograms, PSA tests for prostate cancer, and the value of annual physicals. Not long ago high carb/low fat diets were the universal recommendation for heart health; this is no longer valid as the evidence for low carb/moderate healthful fat diets is now compelling. The landmark June 2012 JAMA paper on weight loss maintenance by Ludwig et al., has overturned the science- based wisdom that a “calorie is a calorie” when it comes to energy expenditure.2 It turns out that high carb diets lead to an average of 300 fewer calories expended daily than low carb diets, a critical issue for weight loss maintenance. No wonder our clients may have become cynical about evidence-based   guidelines. So how do we bridge the gap between our science-based wisdom and guidelines and our clients who don’t trust our science-based guidelines and resist our recommendations? 1.    APPRECIATE  WITHOUT  JUDGMENT The only way a helping professional can defuse resistance is to get fully onto your clients’ side of the fence. Get down from your expert pedestal and honor your clients’ biological drive for autonomy, to choose their own path. Inquire openly and without even the tiniest whiff of judgment or expectation about how they make decisions on what to do to protect and improve their personal health. What is their approach to investigating options, whose advice do they trust most, how do they weigh up their options and decide? What do they think about evidence-based medical guidelines? Perhaps they will share painful stories about how they or close others have experienced difficulties with recommendations of reputable health care providers. Validate and show respect for their perspectives with authentic sincerity, however uncomfortable that might be. 2.    COACH DON’T PREACH Once your clients trust that you appreciate and respect their viewpoints, bringing down the walls of resistance, you have created an opening to facilitate their finding a new and improved decision-making process. Move into a collaborative coaching conversation where you encourage clients to generate new ideas on how best to make health decisions, and get permission to offer your ideas and wisdom. While it’s tough for our expert minds to give up control of having the right answers, it is human nature for your clients to value what they discover more than what has been imposed. Allowing your clients to discover a better path for themselves will, in fact, dramatically increase your impact and your clients’ success. And the bonus is that they will be more likely to be interested in your best advice. Originally published in ACSM Certified News Coaching Column

Today we explore how to work with a client who has a strong desire to lose weight and has agreed to track her daily caloric intake and energy expenditure over the past two weeks. You sit down to review her chart she sent you before your next session and quickly suspect she is under reporting her daily caloric intake and over reporting her daily energy expenditure. Clients more often than not engage fitness professionals to help them lose weight, a primary reason for getting fit, strong, and flexible. In our larger world, where we face a tidal wave of weight gain, the exception, not the rule, is for a client to succeed in losing weight and keeping it off. So let’s first acknowledge that this is a very challenging goal for you and your clients. Start with a beginner’s mind, assuming that you truly have no idea about what will work or whether your client will be successful. One method that has been proven helpful to those who have lost weight is daily journaling of eating and exercise activities, online or by hand on a printout you provide. The starting point in a weight loss endeavor is often to help a client get a snapshot of the balance of intake and expenditure, raise self-awareness of eating patterns, and help you spot obvious areas for tweaking and improvement. Approximately 5% of human beings were born with a “signature” character strength of self-regulation, which means this group is talented at self-monitoring, self-managing, and self-adjusting rapidly when needed. Some of them are aligned with a movement called “the quantified self,” gaining self-knowledge through numbers according to the tag-line at www.quantifiedself.com. The left prefrontal cortex, the brain’s CEO of a good self-regulator, enjoys collecting and evaluating data and loves to make decisions based on solid analysis. I happen to be one of those precious few as I weigh myself daily using a scale with 0.1 lb increments, and immediately change my eating habits if my weight rises by a half-pound, even if that day happens to be a family celebration. For people like me, perhaps you, tracking and recording information like energy balance is an interesting and engaging challenge; we take pride in doing it accurately, checking calorie charts carefully, asking lots of questions, and we enjoy reporting our results and observations. The simple act of recording our intake and expenditure can lead us to lasting changes in our eating and exercise patterns as well as sustainable weight loss. Unfortunately 5% is a small minority. What happens to those of us who aren’t good at self-regulation, who dread tracking and reporting things like eating habits, medical information, and finances? When you are asked or decide yourself to take on a task that you aren’t good at, it’s not fun, it drains your energy, you are easily distracted, and your performance isn’t great. The polar opposite of self-regulation is the strength of living in the moment, indulging your impulses, eating what you want, being spontaneous, being creative, and relying on your “gut” to make decisions. Someone who is not good at self-regulation, or whose self-regulating brain region is exhausted or stressed out with life demands, may not pay close attention to filling out your beautiful energy balance chart, may take shortcuts, or miss recording important information, make mistakes, or even hide the real data from you and/or themselves. Hence, you find yourself in a difficult situation. You don’t want to start down a negative path by questioning or criticizing your client’s tracking and recording skills and efforts. Yet you can’t really trust the data as a basis for your recommendations. A part of you feels frustrated and impatient because your client didn’t deliver what you hoped, and make it easy for you to provide an exercise prescription based on established evidence based practices. So how do you move this partnership forward? 1.    LET GO OF IMPATIENCE AND FRUSTRATION First get yourself into a positive, curious, and non-judgmental mindset, and set aside any frustration or impatience that will instantly impair your partnership with your client. If you show even a speck of judgment or disappointment, your client will withdraw, perhaps already feeling badly that she didn’t do a great job on her tracking homework and now you made her feel worse. 2.    GET INTO A MINDFUL,  CURIOUS,  AND  OPEN-MINDED  MINDSET Explore your client’s experience with completing the energy balance chart in order to help her gain self-awareness. View it as a starting experiment, an opportunity to figure out what the best next step would be. Was it a helpful exercise? Was it challenging? Was it boring? Did she do it immediately or wait for a few days and try to remember all the food she ate and activities she completed? Did she take her time or rush to put something, anything, in each of the boxes? What did she learn? What might work better? Who knows what your client will say and where she will land, but she will appreciate that you were totally focused and engaged, without assumptions and judgment, on her welfare, her efforts, her strengths and weaknesses, and what would work best as next steps. The outcome is a mystery until it emerges. Maybe she will realize that she forgot about recording important information such as her snacks, or miscalculated the number of calories in a food type, and decide to have another go at filling in your chart. Or maybe she’ll decide that instead she’d like to replace her junk food snacks with fruit and nuts, or eat oatmeal and a boiled egg instead of a doughnut for breakfast, as a simple starting point. One of the best things about being a coach is that it is never boring and predictable. Everyone finds his/her own path with our intent and creative input. It would be great if the research gave us the answers, such as completing energy balance charts as an essential starting point. Yet, how dull our work would be if a standard formula worked every time. Originally published in ACSM Certified News Coaching Column

Today we explore how to work with clients who have made New Year’s resolutions to lose weight and to get more physically fit. Of the 50% of people who make resolutions, fewer than 10% are successful. There is a lot of room for improvement. A resolution to lose weight and get fit emerges at least in part from an unstable and negative source of motivation. Clients often have an impatient and demanding inner critic declaring something along the lines of: “YOU SHOULD LOSE WEIGHT. It’s about time you get this done. I can’t believe you have not done this already.” The inner critic attacks one’s self-esteem and self-worth, basically inferring – you are not good enough. Its intention is to generate fear as a motivator to get you off your butt and into the gym, while eating salads and healthier food. Unfortunately, fear of failing or of being a failure, is not an optimal source of motivation. How do you help clients develop a robust start to their resolutions? Help them begin with self-compassion, which leads to a softer, kinder motivation that improves the brain’s ability to learn and change, and has been shown to improve the probability of success. Ten years ago, psychologist Kristin Neff, Ph.D., began to study self-compassion, leading to a growing body of research literature describing its benefits to mental health, management of emotional stress, and  performance. Kristin’s formula starts with mindfulness to notice and name the negative feelings that go along with being overweight and sedentary that you want to escape by losing weight. Suffer with these feelings for a few moments, instead of trying to push them away. Sadly, trying to push these emotions away is a temporary move as the brain doesn’t have the software to destroy negative emotions for good. These emotions will inevitably come back to bite you. The only way to get past negative emotions is to work through them. Then, help your clients feel a connection with humanity. “You are not alone, many others are suffering with excess weight.” Negative emotions do not want to be alone, they want company, to feel connected, and fortunately when it comes to weight loss, people are not suffering alone. Next is to help your clients be kind to their negative feelings. The biological method for soothing the scared emotions of a newborn is the ten- der soothing by its parents, releasing a neurochemical called oxytocin, the hormone of love. This same soothing phenomenon works just as well in adults, except we can soothe ourselves with big-hearted self-kindness. The last step in processing the negative emotions tied to today’s state of being overweight is to learn from them – at their best they are good teachers, they have messages to share. “The stress of being overweight is impairing my closest relationships,” for example. Or “I want to be a good role model for my kids so they don’t suffer the way I am.” A next part of the change process is to have your clients envision the future they want, a future that feels much bigger and more inspiring than a lower number on the weight scale. Harvard psychologist Shelley Carson, Ph.D., teaches us in her book, Your Creative Brain, that when we use the brain’s visual machinery to picture what we want, (i.e., hiking a mountain with our children, looking great in stylish clothes, having lots of energy to make the world a little better place every day) we increase the probability of success.1 Change the words: “I resolve” to “I dream.” The furrowed brow of “I will make myself do this” transforms into eyes filled with hope for a better future. Help clients get clear on what they really want that a lighter and stronger body will give them, something much deeper than the number on the scale. Ask questions like, “How will your life be better if you lose weight?” and “What is the ’why I want to do this with all of my heart’ that can be summoned in the many moments every day when you are tempted to eat a cookie instead of an apple, take the elevator and not the stairs, or hit the snooze button rather then getting out of bed to exercise.” The bigger the why, the easier the how. To conclude, in this column we’ve explored how to help clients develop a new approach to New Year’s resolutions, one built on mindfulness, with love and not blame, a heart’s desire not an inner critic, and a beautiful picture of what the future can bring. Next time we will explore more steps for turning resolutions into “I did it!”

A great way to begin to add coaching skills to your growing toolbox as a health professional is to reflect first on your own interest in change and growth. Have a good look at where you are noticing stress in your life, and then find an experienced coach to help you outgrow a struggle. Harvard psychologist Robert Kegan, Ph.D., describes stress as simply the signal that the demands of the moment are beyond one’s capacity. His book titled “In Over Our Heads” explains that the demands of adult life are over our heads at least some of the time, causing growing pains. Negative emotions are a force for good if you lean into them with self-compassion, and then reflect on and move toward new lessons that may emerge. You’ll find that a good coach won’t give you a prescription; instead s/he will co-create a new path forward, generating new insights and learning along the way. My “How Coaching Works” video on YouTube (more than 600,000 visits) captures the essence of coaching if you haven’t already seen it. A next good step would be to further develop your mindfulness skills, the precious ability to access the part of the brain that can stand back from the noisy voices in your brain, to watch the action in your brain as if watching a movie, rather than being embedded in the movie. Mindfulness skills allow you to be less reactive to passing emotional states, witnessing, naming, and accepting them without feeling hijacked and out of control. A mindful brain is vital to forming a warm connection with your clients and colleagues. Mindfulness training is now widely available. Check out mindfulness-based stress reduction courses and resources, developed by Jon Kabat-Zinn, Ph.D. You may want to look for books and courses on compassion, empathy, and nonviolent communication developed by Marshall Rosenberg Ph.D. In the last quarterly column we discussed the gift of self-compassion, to accept and embrace one’s negative emotions, including the frustrated inner critic that keeps telling you to raise the bar, to do better. Notice the inner critic and appreciate how it helps you; its intentions are good even if its methods are harsh. Suffer with its efforts to try too hard, instead of trying to push it away or fight back with anger, which as I explained last time is, “a temporary move as the brain doesn’t have the software to destroy negative emotions for good. They will inevitably come back to bite you. The only way to get past negative emotions is to work through them.” Then, negative emotions transform into a force for growth and learning. Many positive psychologists believe that the most powerful source of positive emotions, which optimize resilience in the face of adversity, is a sense of meaning and purpose – whether in the moment, making each moment a special contribution, or the arc of your life, what you hope will be your legacy. Read Victor Frankl’s M.D., Ph.D., book, “Man’s Search for Meaning,” the most widely read book on this topic. The importance of meaning is why coaches help clients identify and stay connected to a sense of purpose in each moment, day, and over a life stage, or a whole life. The more purposeful you are, daily if possible, the more you will inspire your clients to pause and reflect on what things mean and their intentions and purpose. The field of Motivational Interviewing has introduced excellent skills for new coaches to teach helping professionals how to “get out of sales and into fishing” to quote my motivational interviewing trainer colleague, psychologist Robert Rhode, Ph.D. Skilled use of mindful listening (not thinking about what you are going to say next or anything else for that matter), open questions that emerge from a beginner’s mind (no assumptions or expectations), and creative reflections, all deepen exploration and foster insights not possible in an expert-prescriptive communication model. Behavior change expert and psychologist John Norcross, Ph.D, ABPP, just released a new book on the Transtheoretical Model called “Changeology,” which is chock full of great tips for helping people change, matched to each stage of change, including Psych (getting ready), Prep (preparing for change), Perspire (taking action), Persevere (managing slips), and Persist (maintaining change). Coaches help clients organize their minds for change and success and if you find your mind to be disorganized you may appreciate my 12- month self-coaching course called “Organize Your Mind to Thrive” build- ing on the Harvard Health book I co-authored with Harvard psychiatrist, Paul Hammerness, M.D. – “Organize Your Mind, Organize Your Life.” While the course is intended for personal growth, the topics, webinars, and exercises are a rich source of resources for your professional life too. Last but not least, you may want to jump in with both feet and complete a reputable health and wellness coaching program offered by Wellcoaches (ACSM partner), Duke Integrative Medicine, University of Minnesota, or the Wellness Coaching Institute. Most of all, it’s fun to grow and change and coaches are privileged to facilitate the change process every day. Onward and upward, as I say. Originally published in ACSM Certified News Coaching Column

“My client is moving out of the area in two months and is afraid that she won’t be able to continue her program without me. How do I help her develop the resources to continue and to succeed?” The ideal accomplishment of a personal training relationship is that clients become self-sufficient: they learn to coach themselves to stay on track with a fit lifestyle. Of course that doesn’t mean that they won’t want to continue personal training sessions. A great relationship with one’s trainer has a special place in a client’s life. I often say that there are twin engines that need to be fueled and fired up to start and sustain changes in mindset and behaviors: self-motivation and self-confidence. A client’s relationship with a trainer can keep both engines on full throttle by revisiting the gains and benefits of a fit lifestyle, to recharge motivation, and  to co-create ways to navigate around barriers and challenges, to recharge confidence. Here’s a short list of open-ended coaching questions that could help lead a client to improve his/her motivation, confidence, and performance, in your absence. Tap into Motivation 1.    How might your move be a catalyst for you to learn and grow? Humans are meaning-makers; we are always asking ourselves – why is this happening to me? What am I supposed to learn from this experience to make the disruption worthwhile? Help your client find ways to make her move meaningful, to tap into her wisdom about new possibilities. Perhaps it’s time to build his/ her confidence in maintaining a fit lifestyle without you, or to experiment with new types of exercise. Or maybe this client will find a new trainer who brings a different and helpful perspective. 2.    If you were to imagine your vision for your lifestyle in this next phase, what would that look like? Just like an architect  draws a picture of a new house, the brain benefits from having   a vision or picture of what an ideal future looks like. Harvard psychologist Shelley Carson describes envisioning, a brain activation pattern, where brain regions related to visual processing at the back of the brain are activated, as a critical early step in the creative process. Help your client imagine a vision for his/her fitness or well-being, in writing or pictures. A good vision has magnetic force like that of deliciously warm sunshine, drawing us toward it. 3.    How does your fitness and wellness help you live a life you treasure? Humans have a strong need for autonomy2, to march to our own drummers, using our unique life forces to learn, grow, and make the world a better place. Fitness and wellness is the fuel for one’s life force; it’s vital to be fit and healthy to live the life our hearts desire. Help your client discover and explore the connection between the life he/she wants to live and the physical and mental health and energy needed to support it. Build confidence 1.    What strengths and talents do you have to help you get to your vision? Only one-third of adults can identify their strengths; most of us spend more time thinking about our weaknesses. There is often untapped potential in strengths that clients use skillfully in their professional and family lives. One assessment used by coaches, called Values in Action Character Strengths, identifies one’s top five “signature” strengths — check it out at www.viacharacter.org. Perhaps your client is good at planning and execution, or creative problem-solving, or learning. You can discuss new ways to put these strengths to good use to stay on track with a fit lifestyle. 2.    What is one major challenge and three possible ways to overcome it? It’s important to help clients discover their capacity to be curious and creative in handling small and large obstacles that emerge to sabotage their good intentions to stay healthy. A brainstorming exercise, where you and your client come up with new ideas to navigate around a challenge, can help your client access his/her creativity to deal with the ups and downs that are unavoidable in busy lives. 3.    What is your special formula for being resilient? Your client has most likely handled some setbacks while at work and home. Help him/her identify the strategies and resources he/she used that worked best to get back on track. Was it reaching out for the support and counsel of others? Or his/her ability to discover the silver lining or meaning of the setback? His/her confidence in their ability to bounce back? His/her curiosity about what the lesson to learn would be? His/her persistence to not give up?  Once he/she has more clarity about what works, he/she can tap into her resilient formula when the need arises. Now it’s time to use your creativity to come up with open questions to explore how your clients could tap into their heartfelt motivation and use that energy source to continually improve confidence to live the life they treasure. Even better, consider getting trained as a wellness coach so that you can continue your client relationship when she moves away. Originally published in ACSM Certified News Coaching Column

A few weeks ago, I was sitting on a plane ride home on a Saturday afternoon after delivering a keynote presentation at the MDVIP CONFERENCE. Ignoring my beckoning email inbox to listen to music,  I came across a Van Morrison song I hadn’t listened to in a long while, called WHENEVER GOD SHINES HIS LIGHT. I was struck by how this line in the lyrics is a metaphor for this year for me:  He lifts you up, turns your around, puts your feet back on higher ground.. Whatever one’s spiritual or religious beliefs, life’s path seems to be shaped by two strong forces: 1. Our human drive to self-actualize and assert control over our destiny to improve ourselves and to make the world a better place. 2. The forces of the universe which… Do what the Rolling Stones described as “YOU CAN’T ALWAYS GET WHAT YOU WANT… YOU GET WHAT YOU NEED” OR they lift us up, turn us around, and put our feet back on higher ground. My higher ground this year includes a surprise surgery that took me to higher ground physically, and the experience of discovering a new way to think about COACHING THE WHOLE PERSON, OR SELF-COACHING OUR WHOLE SELVES, which took me to higher ground intellectually and emotionally. Some higher scientific ground on the type of positive emotions that improve physical health inspired me this year: Nature and Scientific American just published an article titled: HOW HAPPINESS BOOSTS THE IMMUNE SYSTEM. It describes the work of Barbara Fredrickson and Steve Cole and their July 2013 paper which proposes that having a purpose beyond oneself is related to improved gene expression of the immune system. Living for a higher purpose makes us physically healthier and more resilient – mentally and physically. To encourage your reflection on your life’s path – the intersection of your drive to self-actualize, your higher purpose, and this year’s forces of the universe, I want to share a webinar on Meaning-Making from my Organize Your Mind® series as a holiday gift:  WEBINAR ON MEANING MAKING. Coach Meg