By Eric Kaufmann, Executive Coach www.sagatica.com I, like you, judge myself by my intent. Period. But you, like everyone else, judge me by my impact. So even when I’m well-intended, I can be hurtful or upsetting. It’s just inevitable that I’m going to upset someone, you’ll upset someone, we all upset someone. And because we’re prone to upset and offend someone we’re in relationship with, we’ve collectively invented THE APOLOGY – “I’m sorry!” Given that you’re going to have to apologize to someone sooner or later, or help a coaching client do the same, here’s how to think about making an effective apology that can quickly restore trust and heal hurt feelings. Before we go there, let’s take a quick peek at a few overused non-apologies – statements that sound like an apology, but aren’t apologies at all. If you get to that moment of choosing to apologize, I want to make sure you don’t squander the opportunity with one of these duds. “I’m sorry if I did anything wrong.” What?? This isn’t an apology, it’s conditional, it’s hedging, and it suggests that something went awry because of powers out of your control. You’re not owning the hurtful issue, and you’re even insinuating that you’re the victim here. No good. “I am sorry you think I did something wrong.” This doesn’t even smell like an apology. This is called blame-shifting and you’re moving the blame onto the other; nothing offensive happened, you claim, other than their faulty perspective. “I’m sorry, but everyone else said that I was spot on.” My blood pressure is rising just writing this. But. The word BUT negates whatever comes before it. This is pure excuse-making and doesn’t address the hurt. “I regret that mistakes were made.” No, no, no. This is pure government issue, vacuous, impersonal sidestepping of accountability. Regret isn’t remorse and doesn’t convey any agency or responsibility. You’re saying you’re off the hook for blame. “I know I probably should have checked first.” Almost sounds like an apology, almost. But it ain’t. This is whitewashing – removing the self from remorse, ownership, or even apology. It’s impersonal. Can you be both in relationship AND impersonal? No. You can’t! “You know I would never hurt you on purpose.” Whoa, wait, so because you said this, I shouldn’t feel hurt? Where’s the apology here? Oh, it doesn’t exist. The issue isn't whether this was done on purpose, just that it happened. So now that we’ve wiped away some of the verbal pretenders of apology, let’s check out the components of a meaningful apology: Ownership. Sincerity. Specificity. Remorse. Commitment. Ownership: “I'm sorry for what I did in Monday's meeting. Can we chat about this for a minute?” No excuses or minimization. You own that you did something hurtful. You also extend yourself to connect and address the issue and the hurt. Sincerity: This is a self-awareness moment, do you really mean to apologize? Don’t just do it to ameliorate, to improve your image, or for political gain. People who do this aren’t sincere, they’re self-serving or manipulative. In fact, you may have to wait a bit to apologize until your sincerity is ripe. Specificity: “When I said, right in front of everyone, that you were out of touch and not up to speed on the project, I realize that I embarrassed you.” Use “I” to show that you’re in this, it’s not just academic. Demonstrate that you’re addressing the right issue, that you understand the offense, and that you’re accountable for your actions. You can add some personal reflections, not for making excuses, but to set up the remorse part. “I was feeling boxed in, and I know that wasn't your intent, but I was defensive and I lashed out.” Remorse: "I know how embarrassing this was for you. I feel terrible, and I sincerely apologize." Don’t tiptoe around remorse. You screwed up, take responsibility, and share your emotional regret. Commitment: Commit to doing better, and keep it realistic. Saying, “I’ll never lose my cool again, I swear!” may do you more harm than good in the long run. If you lose your cool again, and chances are you will, then you’ll seem both offensive AND dishonest. Commit by saying what you'll do differently in a similar situation in the future. What’s the bottom line? Keep your apologies real. Don’t go off on a tangent about circumstances and excuses. Don’t psychoanalyze the other person. Don’t quote childhood mistreatments as the impetus for your action. This isn’t about you, it’s about them! I’m not revealing a big secret when I remind you that when you apologize well and on time, you can renew trust, soothe hurt feelings, and heal a damaged relationship. So be ready to apologize, and do it skillfully and from the heart.

Adapted from IOC Research Dose, co-authored by Margaret Moore and Andy Cook titled: What is Goal Flourishing. Introduction Most people find setting goals that involve starting and sustaining new behaviors challenging. Kenneth Nowack’s article titled: Facilitating Successful Behavior Change: Beyond Goal Setting to Goal Flourishing is a terrific resource for coaches. Nowack review issues and best practices in goal intentions, goal striving, and goal flourishing to serve coaches in maximizing client success. Nowack summarizes plenty of interesting research, including neuroscience studies that show “broad and meaningful individual differences in our motivation to try new behaviors, willingness to take risks, and a tendency to seek novel and intense experiences.” Helping clients pursue goals then requires a customized approach. Nowack’s Six Questions on Goals Here are Nowack’s six key questions about goals: What are the key characteristics of goals? What works best to facilitate behavior change? When are clients most motivated? How long does it take for new habits to form? When should people “fold” in goal striving? Does practice make perfect? Question 1: What are the key characteristics of goals? Nowack lays out some key characteristics of goals: Difficulty (easy vs. challenging) – encouraging clients to set challenging goals is more likely to encourage initial readiness to change Proximity of the end state (short term vs. long term) – focus on specific and short-term goals and the steps/behaviors to facilitate progress Number of goals (single vs. multiple) – more than one goal can work as long as they are not in conflict Type (learning vs. performance) – if a client doesn’t have the skills, focus on learning not performance goals. The latter are more stressful when skills aren’t developed. Learning goals also increase commitment, self-efficacy and self-regulation. Motivational mindset (avoidance vs. approach) – avoidance refers to an unwanted outcome, approach is aimed at a desired outcome. Approach goals focus on start doing, doing more, or doing differently, while avoidance goals focus on stopping or doing less. Stopping behaviors or doing less is harder, and the approach mindset is typically more effective. Question 2: What works best? Nowack cites some fascinating research on the limitations of goal intentions: “Most successful coaching engagements involve encouraging our clients to start, increase, decrease, modify, or stop behaviors that contribute to their effectiveness and performance on the job. Goal intentions (e.g., “I want to be a more participative leader”) have been found in a recent meta-analysis to be a weak predictor of acquiring new habits, accounting for only 28% of successful behavior change efforts.” Nowack goes on to point out that “current research suggests that availability and type of social support as well as regulation of emotions are equal to, or even more important than, cognitions in predicting both intention and initiation of new habits.” He then shares what goes wrong in 360-degree feedback in leadership coaching: “One of the purposes of using 360-degree feedback in coaching interventions is to illuminate strengths as well as potential areas for development. Some negative reactions to such feedback might actually be motivating, but neuroscience research provides answers about why “underestimators” (whose self-ratings are more critical than the ratings of their observers) or those who interpret the feedback as judgmental or hurtful are disengaged and lack motivation to change behavior. Interpersonal judgment and social evaluation tend to elicit strong stress reactions, with cortisol levels being elevated 50% longer when the stressor is interpersonal versus impersonal. Individuals who negatively interpret feedback and experience emotional hurt, rejection, and pain tend to have both blunted motivation to initiate behavior change and diminished readiness for creating implementation intentions that are crucial for successful behavior change.” These findings suggest that coaching has an important role in helping clients process their emotional responses to behavior change, improve social support, and help clients welcome, understand and accept feedback as beneficial and growth-promoting. Some other interesting findings: It’s vital to “chunk” long term goals into small, manageable steps. It’s important to experience setbacks early; setbacks that happen when less time remains for goal achievement are more likely to lead to abandoning the goal. Writing out goals, sharing them with others, and communicating with others on progress improves goal success. NOT having a backup plan can improve goal achievement. Given that goal intentions are weak predictors of change, focus on overcoming challenges and make implementation or practice plans. Use the if/then technique – for example “if my heart starts to race, then I will breathe deeply to relax” Question 3: When is motivation highest? Motivation typically follows a U-shaped pattern: motivation is highest at the beginning and end of a goal pursuit rather than in the middle. When clients work toward goals, they monitor their progress in two ways—what they have achieved so far, and how much they have left to do. They switch from the first way, what they have achieved, to the second way, what is left to achieve, about mid-way toward a goal, which decreases motivation. Because beginning and end (vs. middle) positions are often arbitrarily determined, coaches can help clients shorten the “middle” by creating subgoals that are smaller actions with shorter follow-up periods. Question 4: How long does it take to establish new behaviors? Creating new habits requires an abundance of self-control and emotional regulation. Behaviors vary in their complexity and how long they take to reach automaticity, averaging 66 days in one study. Neuroplasticity isn’t established until new behaviors are sustained, emphasizing the importance of dedicated and continuing practice. Question 5: When should you fold in goal striving? When goals are unattainable, out of reach, quitting or folding leads to better well-being as perseverance in the face of too much challenge is stressful and inflammatory. Happier people disengage from failure, don’t ruminate, and re-engage in new goals and activities. Question 6: Does practice make perfect? Nowack summarizes the research: “deliberate practice is a necessary, but not sufficient, condition to explain individual differences in skills, and it appears that more variance is NOT explained by deliberate practice than what is explained by it.” He goes on to say provocatively: “Coaches should encourage clients to practice new skills until they become comfortable and automatic, but they should be cognizant of the limits of deliberate practice in realistically converting “competent jerks” into “loveable stars” on the job. In practical terms, the magnitude of behavior change expected and required by organizations that hire coaches to help employees change behavior may, at times, be both unrealistic and unattainable for some.” Nowack’s 3 E Model Nowack created a practical model based on four bodies of scientific work (theory of planned behavior, social cognitive theory, health-belief model, and goal setting theory) called 3E for – enlighten, encourage, and enable. All of these models conclude that good levels of both motivation and self-efficacy are a critical predictor of successful goal adoption and maintenance. Coaches can help clients fully unpack their sources of motivation, ranging from the highest life values or calling to the simple benefit of “I feel better.” Enlighten stands for: Accurate insight Identify signature strengths Ideal self vs real self Encourage stands for: Motivation Self-efficacy Skill building Goal implementation Enable stands for: Practice plans Reminders Social support Relapse prevention Evaluation Takeaways for coaches Help clients fully unpack all of their sources of motivation, ranging from their most heartfelt life values or calling to the simple benefit of “I feel better.” Help clients create not just goal intentions but address their challenges in implementation plans, to steadily increase confidence. Goals come in different sizes and, like shoes, should fit the client. Help clients optimize the goal time-frame and chunking, decide whether to focus on learning or performance and perhaps focus less on backup plans. Help clients appreciate that failure in accomplishing goals is not a weakness. Terminating pursuit of unrealistic or unattainable goals might prove to be a better strategy for physical health and psychological well-being.

The ideal self is a fluid, fuzzy, desired future drawn from many sources including dreams, fantasies, values, life philosophy, personal strengths, and one’s life and career stage. Going further, unpacking the “ideal” component of the ideal self draws forth clarity around one’s life purpose or calling. In their classic 2006 article, the Ideal Self as the Driver of Intentional Change, Boyatzis and Akrivou open by noting: “Much has been written about the importance of our dreams or aspirations in motivating change and development.” They summarize related research: “From the perspective of positive psychology, the ideal self is a core mechanism for self-regulation and intrinsic motivation.” The authors describe the ideal self as a home for desires, aspirations, dreams, purpose, calling, and hope. The force of the ideal self, when activated, brings clarity and mindfulness, and stimulates motivation, self-monitoring, and focused action toward a new state of being or self-actualization. It serves as a positive emotional attractor which supports self-regulation – making ongoing choices that sacrifice immediate rewards and support longer term aspirations. The authors then expand our thinking by proposing a theoretical model of the “ideal self” – which they define as the driver of intentional change, also a key component of Intentional Change Theory. This model provides a framework for coaching inquiry that we outline in this research dose. Ideal Self as a 3-legged stool The ideal-self theory defines three components that converge to manifest one’s ideal self, a personal vision or image of who you want to be and what you want to accomplish. The three components make a three-legged stool that guides coaching inquiry: 1. Mental image The cognitive leg is a mental image of one’s desired future, a fluid articulation of one’s dreams and aspirations. The images that reflect the ideal self can be novel, or they can amplify or make consistent existing best states. The images of ideal self can also be continually evolving. 2. Core identity The identity leg, largely unconscious and fairly stable, is one’s core identity. The images of ideal self can be unpacked to expand awareness of the variety of identity components implicit in the vision. It’s also vital for the notions of ideal self to be wholistic and inclusive across the full range of one’s life domains. 3. Hope The emotional leg is fueled by hope – how the aspirations are made realistic, aspirations of becoming one’s ideal self or making one’s ideal self a consistent norm. The positive emotions that emerge from the experience of hope are the power source for the journey toward the ideal self. These three legs offer (at least) four directions of coaching inquiry to support the emergence and cultivation of clients’ ideal selves. 1. Envision images of future ideal self The authors see imagining a mental picture as providing the “content” for the ideal self. It is a fluid, fuzzy, desired future drawn from many sources including dreams, fantasies, values, life philosophy, personal strengths, and one’s life and career stage. Envisioning the ideal component of the ideal self draws forth clarity around one’s life purpose or calling, which can also change over time. Similar to using Wellcoaches Vision Tool, this is the process of building clarity around what the client wants and what version of themselves they are working toward. It’s important that the images of ideal self aren’t based on avoiding risk or bad outcomes, which triggers fear and a stress response that inhibits learning. It is also important for people to accept their visions with an open, accepting heart as the authors note “evaluating or judging the worthiness of one’s dreams immediately invokes stress. This results in limiting openness to new ideas and possibilities.” Opportunities for coaching inquiry include: a. help clients use their imaginations to envision the ideal self, which can be new, or can be an existing state that is maintained or made more consistent b. mirror, appreciate, and expand without judgment clients’ emerging mental images of ideal self and ideal c. help clients reflect on the origins and sources of values, passions, purpose, and callings 2. Clarify ideal self as emerging from internal values rather than external social values. Coaches can help clients make an important distinction between their ideal self and their “ought” self, a false version of self that emerges more from external social expectations than internally from one’s own agency, values and purpose. The authors note that it’s important to help clients discern the ideal from the “ought” self as they can ultimately feel frustrated or disappointed if they spend time working toward a version of their best self that is driven by external social forces or internal limitations, rather than their own internally derived values, strengths, and capabilities. Coaching inquiry includes: a. consider the possibility of social values and expectations inherent in professional and personal lives that may pose limitations on visions of ideal self b. explore the extent to which visions might reflect any self-biases or limitations c. unpack any internalized oppressions including racism or sexism 3. Help clients connect their ideal self to identity The authors describe one’s core identity as a relatively stable compilation of motives, roles, identity groups, habits, socialization, and other personality and character traits that give rise to individuals in their current context. Clients can feel low levels of control over shifting these, often subconscious, components of their identities. Their identities have the “leash,” controlling degrees of freedom and opportunities. The authors note that generating awareness and articulation of a client’s identity components, that contribute both resources and opportunities for change, helps anchor a clear starting point for the journey toward a desired future. A clear starting point improves clarity and interest; it also provides direction for new experiments that may generate learning and shifts. As a result, coaches have plenty of inquiry possibilities: a. expand a client’s self-awareness of their identities through assessments, self-observation, and reflection b. unpack the role of their identity components in their visions of ideal and ideal self c. explore how components of identity can be resources or opportunities for learning and growth d. consider how the ideal self can be applied and be coherent across most or all personal and professional life domains e. continually expand awareness of their visions of ideal self 4. Cultivate hope, efficacy and optimism around realizing the ideal self When a client gets in touch with a desired future emerging from internal values and purpose, it can elicit a mix of new emotions. A coaching opportunity is to explore how the envisioned ideal self can first be supported by amplifying positive emotions, particularly the experience of hope. The authors note that “hope emerges when efficacy merges with optimism.” In other words, one’s dreams go to sleep if they feel out of reach, making it important for coaches to explore diverse and creative ways to improve a client’s efficacy and optimism. A key focus is on amplifying the positive – for example, drawing out confidence-boosting strengths, past successes, along with internal and external resources. A client’s negative emotions that might emerge around considering their ideal self may signal what is reducing confidence, optimism and hope, and nicely surface growth opportunities. Coaches can help clients cultivate a growth mindset by appreciating that gaps between current and future mindsets and skills are interesting and valuable opportunities to grow. The growth mindset becomes a bridge of hope, from today’s self to the future ideal self. Coaching inquiry to consider: a. Explore positive emotions and negative emotions that emerge from the exploration of the client’s ideal self. b. Use motivational interviewing rulers to help clients self-assess on a scale of 1-10 their levels of confidence, optimism, and hope. Explore what a 10/10 would look like and possible ways to improve ratings to a 7/10 or above. c. Unpack all of the potential sources of confidence, optimism, and hope in becoming or sustaining the ideal self. d. Ask the client to describe a growth mindset for themselves. e. Explore opportunities for learning and growth on the journey to ideal self. Takeaways for coaches 1. Coaches have the opportunity to be role models and envision and process fully our own future ideal selves. 2. Help clients “dream big” through nonjudgmental inquiry and reflection that expands possibilities. The use of Wellcoaches Vision Tool helps guide clients to looking outside their current reality into what they'd like to create in their work with a coach. 3. Help clients uncover external social expectations or other limitations which may lead them away from their true compass of values and purpose. 4. Help clients complete a full process of “ideal selfing” including envisioning, unpacking identity components of the ideal self, integrating the ideal self into all life domains, and generating efficacy, optimism, and hope as fuel for the journey. Citation Boyatzis, R. E., & Akrivou, K. (2006). The ideal self as the driver of intentional change. Journal of management development. IOC Resources from Richard Boyatzis

I’ve just finished reading a great book, and I’m making my way through another at the moment (which will take a whole year – you’ll see why shortly). The book I’ve just finished is “Every tool’s a Hammer” by Adam Savage - yep, the Mythbusters guy. The subtitle of the book is “Life is what you make it”. It’s superficially autobiographical but at a deeper level, it’s a book about how to live. One of the valuable lessons he discusses is the idea of “learning by doing poorly.” This approach allows for mistakes to be made and in some ways almost redefines the idea of “mistake” as simply a “step along the way to greater understanding”. It’s a valuable characteristic for anybody, particularly for leaders. The book that will take me a whole year to read is “The Daily Stoic – 366 meditations on wisdom, perseverance and the art of living”, by Ryan Holiday. It was a recommendation from a physician colleague and I’m very grateful to him. If you don’t know a great deal about the school of philosophy called Stoicism, I’d encourage you to explore. The principles of Stoicism include accepting what’s out of your control, managing your inner life (emotions) effectively, preparing for contingencies and allowing failure to occur in our lives. People often think of stoicism as meaning “emotionless”. But this mischaracterizes stoicism. The philosophy and its practice are really about being measured, considered and mindful in our daily lives. The world desperately needs leaders – not titular leaders, but those with the capacity to nourish themselves and cultivate in others, their own strengths, visions and values. Those who are trained in the skills of coaching - to be compassionate, empathetic, joyful, respectful, and to listen deeply, are those with the capacity to lead and inspire. The 35th US President John F Kennedy was scheduled to speak in Dallas, Texas on 22 November 1963. He never delivered the speech, but it had been prepared. He was due to say this: “Leadership and learning are indispensable to each other”. Wellcoaches will continue to be a place where skills, not only of coaching, but true leadership, can be cultivated.

To set goals or not set goals, that is the question. The answer from a study of external executive coaching for a group of corporate leaders is that for coachees, facilitative coaching showed similar outcomes to goal-setting coaching. Note: This article was published by the Institute of Coaching on March 14, 2021. Join Institute of Coaching using the Wellcoaches Sponsor discount. Introduction Coaches want to provide the best to their clients, applying the most effective tool for the moment. This month, let’s focus on a randomized controlled study that compares the two most common coaching processes – goal setting process and facilitation process, led by article author Janette Williams. Williams co-authored the 2018 article describing the study, titled: The Efficacy of Executive Coaching: An empirical investigation of two approaches using random assignment and a switching-replications design. While the study focused on executive coaching, the results are relevant to health and wellness coaching. Williams and Lowman (department Chair) co-authored the 2018 article describing the study, titled: The Efficacy of Executive Coaching: An empirical investigation of two approaches using random assignment and a switching-replications design. Coaching interventions A 2009 survey of executive-coaching practices identified seven approaches most used in coaching, and the first two were selected for the study, as the most frequently used and familiar to experienced coaches: 1. process/facilitation-oriented 2. goal setting/goal-focused behavior modification 3. cognitive–behavioral 4. neurolinguistics programming 5. psychoanalytic/dynamic 6. skills training The coaching intervention was four one-hour sessions over 4-6 weeks delivered by 16 external, professional coaches (11 females, 5 males) with formal psychological training at the master’s or PhD levels. Coaches had at least two years of coaching experience and were paid $75 per session. The coaching protocol was manualized to standardize the coaching sessions. Coaches completed six hours of training and practice of the two coaching approaches – goal-focused and process-oriented. The coaches confirmed the integrity of the coaching approach by answering four “process integrity” questions via online survey after each coaching session. A goal-focused question was “I help my coachee identify and set realistic and challenging goals.” A process-focused question was: “I tailor my own approach to fit the preferences and needs of the coachee.” Each participant selected one of eight leadership competencies (sourced from the organization’s performance management system) as the coaching objective, which was agreed with their supervisor. The eight competencies to select from were: 1. Provides strategic perspectives 2. Inspires and motivates, energizes team to achieve goals 3. Drives for results, sets high standards of excellence 4. Collaborates, promotes high level of cooperation 5. Walks the walk, demonstrates honesty and integrity 6. Develops others, sponsors employee development 7. Builds relationships, stays in touch with employee issues and concerns 8. Demonstrates courage, not shying away from conflict Outcomes measurement The overall leadership behaviors were measured using the Leadership Practices Inventory (LPI) that has been administered to more than 3 million people. The LPI addresses five dimensions, each with six items, totaling 30 questions: 1. Model the way 2. Inspire a shared vision 3. Challenge the process 4. Enable others to act 5. Encourage the heart The LPI results were not shared with coachees; they were used only to measure the benefit of coaching as rated by the coachees and supervisors. Research design The study included 64 mid to senior leaders (50/50 female and male) in a multi-billion dollar corporation who agreed to participate in the research, of which 23% had received executive coaching in the past. The 39 direct supervisors (15 females, 24 males) also agreed to participate and rate their direct reports. Most of the coachees and supervisors held bachelor’s degrees or higher and four or more years of management experience. The study methodology is complex: 1. A single-blind procedure was implemented, which means that the participants and supervisor were not aware of the two coaching approaches or the research goals. 2. There were two study phases and four groups – in the first phase, two groups got the two coaching approaches (half got one approach and half got the other approach), and two groups acted as a control with no coaching. 3. In the second phase, the participants switched roles, the two groups who got coaching now got no coaching, and the two groups who served as the control group in the first phase, received the two coaching approaches (again half got one approach and half got the second approach). 4. A pre-coaching LPI assessment was given to all participants and supervisors, and the assessment was repeated twice - at the end of the first phase and 5 weeks after the end of the second phase. Study Results The coachee ratings showed an increase in leadership competencies and behaviors for the coaching groups and not for the control groups. As rated by the supervisors, there was improvement, but it was not statistically significant. There was no significant difference between the approaches of goal-focused and process-oriented coaching on leadership competencies or behaviors as rated by the coachees. Furthermore, there were no differences between the two approaches in the post-coaching follow-up. Not surprisingly, the study limitations include the short duration of the coaching intervention and the two phases, and the low number of coaching sessions. Changes in coachee behavior may not have been fully developed or observable by supervisors at five weeks after four coaching sessions. The LPI didn’t precisely align with the single coaching goal set by coachees and agreed with their supervisors. Last, in the real world, coaches would typically adjust coaching processes to meet coachee needs, often alternating between goal-focused and process-focused approaches, a hybrid approach. Takeaways for Coaches 1. While the coaching program was brief, a reasonable conclusion is that coaches can combine goal-oriented sessions with process-oriented sessions without compromising coaching outcomes. 2. It is helpful for coaches to ask clients which process might work best for each session or the overall program, focusing on goals or process. CITATION: Williams, J. S., & Lowman, R. L. (2018). The efficacy of executive coaching: An empirical investigation of two approaches using random assignment and a switching-replications design. Consulting Psychology Journal: Practice and Research, 70(3), 227–249.

Abraham Maslow described peak experiences as ‘something like mystic experiences, moments of great awe, moments of the most intense happiness or even rapture, ecstasy or bliss or pure, positive happiness when all doubts, all fears, all inhibitions, all tensions, all weaknesses, were left behind. Peak Coaching Moments While there is an abundance of stressful or low moments for all of us in pandemic time, coaches are also experiencing peak moments in coaching. What is a peak coaching moment? Czech authors Honsová and Jarošová published a lovely qualitative paper on peak coaching experiences (2018). Here are the bottom lines. First, what is a peak experience? The authors note that the construct of peak experience was introduced by Abraham Maslow. Originally Maslow hypothesized that only self-actualized people have peak experiences. Later he concluded that most people have peak experiences, which was confirmed further in a later study. The authors note: Maslow described peak experience in the whole life context as ‘something like mystic experiences, moments of great awe, moments of the most intense happiness or even rapture, ecstasy or bliss’ or ‘pure, positive happiness when all doubts, all fears, all inhibitions, all tensions, all weaknesses, were left behind,’ or simpler – moments of highest happiness and fulfillment. Other peak-like phenomena that while all being positive subjective experience, are distinct including: 1. Peak experience – unusual experiences that create intensely positive emotions or high intensity of perception. Can be triggered by wild nature, music, and learning a new language. 2. Peak performance – a superior use of human potential, transcending expectation, in efficiency, productivity, or creativity. 3. Flow – immersion in an enjoyable activity. 4. Peak learning experience – vivid and memorable learning experiences. 5. Plateau experience – a serene and calm state. Peak experiences have a variety of triggers, can happen unexpectedly, and are often not brought at will. They happen in several areas – family, children and friends, other relationships, and work. Even though they can be brief or elusive, they tend to prevail in our memories. They can influence our futures and change how we view ourselves and the world. They can have permanent effects including improving self-esteem, relationships or optimism. Now, what is a peak coaching experience? The researchers interviewed 18 coachees, senior managers at a large Czech bank going through extensive organizational change, using the Life Story Interview method, adapted for the coaching context. The coachees were asked: Please describe a scene, episode, or moment in your coaching that stands out as an especially positive – peak experience. The researchers conducted a thematic analysis, compiling the data, disassembling into labelled themes, and then reassembled into themes – summarized next: 1. Moments of insight Some coachees reported the peak experience as the moment of insight: ‘the moment of revelation or seeing the root cause of something which I wasn’t able to find or change.’ (read page 5/6 for more quotes) 2. Moments of relief or release Some coachees reported moments or relief, tension release, and calming down: ‘I mentally convinced myself that I am here for this, and that I am not looking for anything else.’ (read page 6 for more quotes) 3. Moments of mindfulness Some coachees reported moments of mindfulness or awareness as a result of a coach’s techniques for mindfulness or meditation: ‘we went through a journey in a meditation and suddenly I felt as if I could overcome this with much more ease..I was taken aback that something like this could happen.’ 4. New perspectives from external models Some coachees found models using drawing or graphics, or tokens or bricks to help visualize an external situation: ‘the feeling of excitement and joy..some kind of realization of the situation through the visualization she used.” The authors conclude: “Our research shows that the key benefits of coaching might not lie only in what comes after coaching (e.g. leadership style change, stress reduction or enhanced self-efficacy) but also in the experience lying in the coaching process itself. Each of the participants associated their coaching experience to unique positive experiences, many of which were connected to learning and growing…” WHAT’S IN IT FOR COACHES? 1. Ask your clients to share their peak coaching experiences with you. 2. Track and journal peak coaching experiences for you and your clients. 3. Experiment with new techniques to generate insights, releases, mindfulness, and new perspectives. Reference Honsová, P., & Jarošová, E. (2019). Peak coaching experiences. Coaching: An International Journal of Theory, Research and Practice, 12(1), 3-14. https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/17521882.2018.1489867

Introduction It goes without saying that a top societal priority right now is caring for the workforce caring for people sick with COVID. The safety and well-being of healthcare workers is crucial, noted authors from the Stanford Medicine system in a January 2021 NEJM Catalyst article. As an early pandemic hotspot, the Stanford system witnessed the extreme demands on the workforce and quickly made workforce well- being their highest priority. They defined their leadership values as connection, collaboration, and caring. New structures were formed to address worker well-being with an intense focus on staffing, staff testing and care if they were infected, the PPE supply chains, infection risk, and safe integration of elective procedures and visits. To address the workers psychological concerns and needs, the authors noted: “To learn about the unique needs of individual health care workers, we entered into discussions using Schein’s “humble inquiry,” a concept that emphasizes asking and listening, rather than telling. Because the pandemic was unpredictable in so many ways and anxiety levels were high among many providers and workers, we recognized the importance of strengthening relationships and generating solutions and new ideas from the front lines.The practice of humble inquiry facilitates these outcomes, and we were able to learn many important lessons and gain important insights by hearing what the frontline teams had to share.” “Furthermore, we were able to provide opportunities through individual conversations and focus groups for deliberate reflection about experiences related to the pandemic, in an effort to foster learning and post-traumatic growth.” This case study is helpful in the context of a new scientific review explored next on how best to support healthcare workers during the pandemic, which concludes that this endeavor is not yet supported by an evidence base to guide healthcare leaders. What does the research say on supporting frontline workers during a disease epidemic? Research on disease epidemics on an individual country or global scale has shown that health care workers are at risk for short- and long-term mental health problems. The World Health Organization (WHO) warns that depression, anxiety, stress and additional cognitive and social problems are all possible effects on frontline staff. Alex Polluck and collaborators in Scotland, in conjunction with the Cochrane Library- the leading journal and database in health care for systematic reviews - got to work in May 2020 to conduct a rapid “Cochrane Review” on the question: What interventions support or deplete resilience and mental well-being in frontline workers during a disease outbreak? They published their article in November 2020 titled: Interventions to support the resilience and mental health of frontline health and social care professionals during and after a disease outbreak, epidemic or pandemic: a mixed methods systematic review. The bottom line: “There is a lack of evidence from studies carried out during or after disease outbreaks, epidemics or pandemics that can inform the selection of interventions that are beneficial to the resilience and mental health of frontline health and social care professionals. Alternative sources of evidence, such as evidence arising from other healthcare crises, and general evidence relating to the effectiveness of interventions to support mental well‐being during stressful situations, should therefore be used to inform decision making. The mental health and resilience of frontline workers could be supported during disease epidemics by workplace interventions to support basic daily needs, psychological support interventions, pharmacological interventions, or a combination of any or all of these.” Cochrane review description The authors addressed two objectives in their literature review: Objective 1: assess the effects of interventions to support the healthcare workforce The study gathered quantitative evidence from randomized trials, non-randomized trials, controlled before-after studies and interrupted time series studies, investigating the effect of any intervention to support mental health or resilience. Objective 2: identify facilitators and barriers that may impact interventions to support healthcare workforce The study gathered qualitative evidence from studies that described facilitators and barriers to the implementation of interventions during or after a disease outbreak. The review process, following the rigorous Cochrane review methods, identified 16 studies from 2002 to May 28, 2020, describing interventions to support resilience or mental health of mainly physicians and nurses during disease outbreaks including SARS, Ebola, MERS, and COVID-19. Interventions were mainly workplace-based including training, structure and communication, psychological support, and multifaceted interventions. The 16 studies measured a variety of outcomes of the interventions: General Mental Health (3 measures) Resilience (6 measures) Psychological symptoms of anxiety (6 measures) Depression (3 measures) Stress (3 measures) Burnout (2 measures) Effects on workplace staffing (2 measures) Mental health disorders caused by distressing events (6 measures) The strategies in the studies included: rotating workers from high to low stress roles, partnering workers of different experience levels, including work breaks and flexible schedules, and enabling social support. Research Findings In addressing the first objective, only one study (during Ebola) investigated the impact of an intervention. Frontline staff were trained to deliver psychological first aid, including to patients and their families, as a way to reduce their own burnout. The study was deemed inconclusive. For the second objective, there were four factors with moderate confidence (none with high confidence) serving as facilitators to implementation: 1. Interventions were flexible, culturally appropriate, and could be tailored and adapted for the needs of a local area. 2. Effective communication was delivered, formal and informal, to improve team cohesion and resilience. 3. Positive, safe, and supportive learning environments were provided for frontline workers. 4. Good education on the intervention - the knowledge and beliefs of frontline workers about an intervention can help (or hinder) the intervention. There were two factors serving as barriers to implementation with moderate confidence levels: 1. Insufficient awareness by one or both of the workers and their organizations of what frontline workers needed, as well as their available resources, to support their mental well-being. 2. The intervention was limited by resource constraints such as a lack of equipment, staff time or skills needed for implementation. In the absence of robust findings in the literature, the authors offer the below set of questions that may support the selection and implementation of helpful interventions. Selecting an intervention Is the intervention flexible, with the ability to be tailored to meet local needs? Are the needs and resources of the frontline workers known (known to the frontline workers and to their employers/organizations)? Planning organizational factors Are there effective networks of communication (both formal and social networks)? Is there a positive, safe and supportive learning environment for the frontline workers (for example, for learning new skills related to caring for patients with the disease)? Is there adequate resourcing, including necessary equipment, staff time and skills, for the intervention? Individual characteristics of frontline staff Do frontline staff have adequate knowledge relating to, and belief in, the intervention? Other considerations emerged from the review: Organization Strategic planning prior to implementation of an intervention or changes to practice Complexity of the intervention (low‐complexity interventions maybe easier to implement) Intervention costs and associated costs of implementing the intervention Education, training and access to information for frontline workers about the intervention Confidence of people delivering the intervention Individual personal characteristics of workers, such as attitudes and motivation Meaningful engagement of, and collaborations with, people involved in the delivery of the intervention, and opinion leaders who can champion the intervention Providing frontline workers with opportunities to reflect on the implementation of an intervention Societal Organizational incentives and rewards for frontline workers may facilitate engagement in the intervention Government and political leaders' awareness of mental health needs of frontline workers Networking and coordination of different relevant organizations Takeaways for Coaches The experience of Stanford Medicine published by NEJM Catalyst along with the Cochrane Review conclusions support a coaching approach to helping frontline workers improve or maintain their well-being under extreme and often traumatizing demands. On the optimal outcome, the Standard authors note: “Rather than using a crisis-management approach to restore the organization back to normal functioning after the pandemic, our goal is to achieve a higher level of functioning as a result of addressing and learning from adversity.” Here are some tips for coaches that serve healthcare leaders and workers: 1. Engage in open, humble inquiry that raises self-awareness and organizational awareness of individual and team needs and resources, and also generates ideas and insights on how to address these needs. 2. Provide opportunities to reflect and process experiences well in order to uncover a path to learning and post-traumatic growth. And for all Coaches: Step up in your community to show deep gratitude and support the needs of healthcare workers including meals, transportation, child-care, small gifts, and anything else you think would be helpful and appreciated. Citations Frush, K., Lee, G., Wald, S. H., Hawn, M., Krna, C., Holubar, M., ... & Maldonado, Y. (2020). Navigating the Covid-19 Pandemic by Caring for Our Health Care Workforce as They Care for Our Patients. NEJM Catalyst Innovations in Care Delivery, 2(1). Pollock, A., Campbell, P., Cheyne, J.,Cowie, J., Davis,B., McCallum, J., ... & Torrens, C. (2020). Interventions to support the resilience and mental health of frontline health and social care professionals during and after a disease outbreak, epidemic or pandemic: a mixed methods systematic review. Cochrane Database of Systematic Reviews, (11).

We chose this profession because we want to help our clients develop and sustain fit lifestyles. One-on-one personal training helps many but often falls short with people who have difficulty sticking with a program. Just like people who go on diets and soon regain the weight they lost, many training clients start out enthusiastically but later regress to sedentary lifestyles. Behavioral psychologist James Prochaska, Ph.D., has provided a way to help us evaluate how ready our clients are to change so we can adapt our training strategies to each individual’s personal readiness. Other behavioral science principles that trainers apply include helping our clients develop and commit to concrete plans and SMART goals, and then providing the training support and supervision to help them get there one step at a time. But our power as trainers is still limited when it comes to those “reluctant” clients who have difficulty staying with a program. Now, however, there’s a new approach for health and fitness professionals –  supported by the emerging worlds of life and corporate coaching combined with more traditional counseling skills. While you may consider yourself a great coach, you may be lacking the background and training to provide a systematic coaching process and invaluable coaching skills. The problem is trainers, just like all other health and fitness experts, including doctors,nurses, dietitians, and physical therapists, are very good at solving client problems and providing the answers for them. We are confident that we can solve any problem and we can’t wait to tell our clients what to do. However, life coaches, counselors, and therapists have the opposite perspective. They believe that clients have the ability to find their own answers, and that the job of the professional is to help the client explore and discover his or her own answers, rather than offer a prescription. In order to achieve this,the coach must develop a strong personal relationship with the client. When that is achieved, the coach can then help the client to think deeply, reflect, clarify and focus, and make decisions – and ultimately develop the mindset needed to change. We could call this the fit mindset. Life coaches also believe that an early step in their process is to help people align their most important life values with their goals,and thereby connect with a deeply-desired vision of the person they want to be. So as trainers, we have a powerful opportunity to learn new coaching skills and add coaching sessions (telephone or face-to- face)using a systematic process to training programs. This transforms the way we work with our clients, and helps them to make changes that they can sustain. Two important coaching skills for personal trainers: First, coaching people to find their own answers. The most important distinction between coaching and training is that coaches focus TOTALLY on the client’s agenda. They silence their own agendas – and ignore the voices in their heads that are dying to tell their clients what to do. Coaches focus on asking powerful, open-ended questions (i.e., what would it take…) that send the message to their clients “I believe that you know the answer and can solve this problem.” They “listen until they don’t exist,”and give feedback on what they heard their client say (both the facts and the emotions)rather than saying what’s on their own minds. Coaches skillfully navigate the inquiry and discussion to a place where clients have one or more “ah-ha” moments — finding the truth (or as Reality Therapists call it — getting real), evaluating possible solutions, deciding to take action, and committing to the next step. Their clients then feel empowered, in charge, and energized by their discovery and commitment to move forward. And while the coach didn’t give the client the answers, the coaching approach was critical in helping him/her get there. Developing the skills to help clients find their own answers requires training, and takes weeks and months of practice, and years to polish. Of course, personal trainers are still the experts, but as coaches, we should wear our expert hats and give advice no more than 50 percent of the time, and devote the other 50 percent to helping clients discover and develop their own answers. Second, helping clients commit to a personal vision. An early step in a systematic coaching process is to help people connect with a personal vision that they feel inspired to reach.Life coaches and Reality Therapists believe that profound change happens when people connect to a vision of the person they really want to be. A vision sounds something like “I want to be a great role model for my children” or “I want to have the energy and vitality to enjoy life to the fullest.” Visions like these lift people’s focus beyond the more banal “I want to lose 20 pounds” or “I want to exercise three days a week.” Even if the vision feels out of reach, clients can typically identify some behaviors that they are confident they can perform – things that the person they want to be would do. This takes their focus away from the tough job of resolving any issues that might sabotage a healthy lifestyle, and shifts their focus to the easier task of taking the first behavioral steps. After that it doesn’t take long for a client to feel and think more like the person in their vision, and develop the confidence needed to support change. Reproduced from ACSM’s Certified News, Volume 14, Number 2 (April-June 2004)

In a recent study, more than 2,000 older adults aged 60 to 86 were evaluated to determine who was more likely to be alive at the conclusion of the study. In the group that achieved greater longevity, one factor was significantly more important than any other.9 Are you curious as to what that factor was? Knowing about this factor also may help you enjoy a long life. In his new book, Curious?, Todd Kashdan, Professor of Psychology at George Mason University, reveals that the all-important ingredient to longevity in this study was curiosity. He points out: “Those who were more curious at the beginning of the study were more likely to be alive at the end of the study, even after taking into account age, whether they smoked, the presence of cancer or cardiovascular disease, and all the rest of the usual markers.” While he acknowledges that declining curiosity may be a sign of declining health and neurological illness, Kashdan believes that “there are promising signs that enhancing curiosity reduces the risk for these diseases and even the potential to reverse some of the natural degeneration  that occurs.” According to Kashdan, curiosity has a powerful effect on well-being and thriving.It is incumbent upon coaches to understand precisely what it is, its benefits for psychological and physical health, and how to best facilitate curiosity in our clients. What is Curiosity? Curiosity has received more than a century of psychological study and many definitions have been offered over the years. What all definitions have in common, however, is that curiosity is (1) a motivational state; (2) approach-oriented and; (3) associated with exploration. A good working definition of curiosity, offered by Kasdan, is: “The recognition, pursuit, and intense desire to explore novel, challenging, and uncertain events.” We are Wired to Be Curious Psychologists who subscribe to the intrinsic motivation tradition believe that interest or curiosity arises from the operation of evidence- based primal needs, such as competence, autonomy, and relatedness.1,8 Scientists also have focused on physiological explanations by studying curiosity patterns in the brain. They have discovered that the chemical dopamine is released from the striatum in the brain at a greater rate when a person pushes beyond the boundaries of the known, facing challenges, novelty, and uncertainty. There is also a greater release of dopamine when there is personal importance or meaning in the novel situation. This surge of dopamine prepares us to capitalize on these experiences by focusing our attention on the present, mobilizing our energy resources, and initiating approach  movements. What purpose does curiosity serve? Curiosity motivates us to be receptive to the happenings of the present moment, to be immersed in, explore, and investigate our surroundings. In the process, curiosity stretches our knowledge and skills, enabling us to meet new people and learn new things. In the long term, curiosity builds competence. Curiosity leads to well-being In cross-sectional studies, researchers who measured levels of curiosity consistently report a greater level of psychological well- being.5,6,10 Regarding physical health, as was previously mentioned, older adults with greater curiosity have been found to live longer over a 5-year period. Kashdan admits that the mechanisms linking curiosity to physical health, illness and mortality are not yet fully understood. He offers several intriguing explanations for why highly  curious people may live longer, such as “the process of neurogenesis stemming from continued novel and intellectual pursuits, a non- defensive willingness to try unfamiliar yet science-based health strategies, or the psychological benefits of evaluating stressors as challenges being guided by exploration as opposed to avoidance.” He suggests that “an examination of cognitive, behavioral, social, and biological levels of analysis will lead to promising avenues of when and how curiosity leads to desirable outcomes.” In Coaching Perhaps most important for coaching, curiosity promotes new ways of thinking and acting. Perspective change is the bread and butter of coaching. Kashdan writes, “People who feel curious challenge their views of self, others, and the world with an inevitable stretching of information, knowledge and skills.”4 Coaches know that this is an important route to meaningful change. Curiosity also helps in goal fulfillment. Kashdan and Steger (2007) studied people over the course of 21 days and found that people who were highly curious were more likely to persist in attaining their goals, even in the face of obstacles, and were also more likely to express gratitude to their benefactors. This led to higher levels of perceived meaning and purpose. Curiosity also can help our clients build neurological connections as they explore new experiences and seek out new information. Finally, according to Kashdan, curiosity leads to more efficient decision-making and helps us grow in our ability to see the relation- ships among disparate ideas, leading to more creativity. Conclusion It is not surprising that curiosity and achieving our best life have been found to be linked. Imagine life without curiosity. It would be a grim, boring existence. Our mission as coaches should be three-fold. First, we should be curious about curiosity, encouraging research in our field. Second, we should model curiosity for our clients in our powerful questions, active listening, and perceptive reflections. Third, we should facilitate curiosity, helping clients develop and use their curiosity to enhance their lives and their health, so that they can live longer, more fulfilling lives. Originally published in ACSM Certified News Coaching Column

The results our clients get from fitness training or wellness coaching are not just a higher level of health, fitness, and well-being. They also include change: change in behavior, thinking, and feeling. Yet, change is not always easy. A critical ingredient is potent and lasting motivation that comes from within and is based on immediate benefits or long-term rewards. To be human is to be ambivalent about changing something that one has struggled with for years or even decades, whether it is learning how to fully relax, loving to exercise regularly, enjoying veggies as much as ice cream, or listening to someone you care about with undistracted, mindful presence. The amount of energy consumed by this state of chronic contemplative struggle would fuel a small car. Do I or don’t I? Why can’t I just get it done? Surely someone will invent THE quick fix if I wait long enough. What a loser I am for being unable to stay motivated. How come I am not driven to be fit and well? Clients choose a “change supporter” in hiring a trainer or wellness coach in hopes of getting beyond the struggle. The rationale for this choice includes “I need someone to motivate me. I need help in staying motivated.” Yet as helping professionals we need to be careful to not take on ownership and responsibility for our client’s motivation. It is not our job to motivate our clients. Instead, it is our job to help our clients identify and sustain their own motivation. In Dan Pink’s new book Drive, he talks about the importance of internal or intrinsic motivation as what truly drives or motivates us to choose to change and act on it. When the motivation to change comes from within, based on heartfelt desires, rather than via external sources, like a financial incentive or urging by one’s spouse or parent, the likelihood of sustained success is dramatically improved. “Some doors open only from the inside.” — An ancient Sufi saying There is a wonderful story in the best- selling book on flow titled Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience, written by Mihaly Czikszentmihalyi,1 (say Cheek-sent- me-hi a few times to get it down) about a woman with severe schizophrenia in a mental hospital. Her medical team had failed to help her improve. The team decided to follow Czikszentmihalyi’s protocol to identify activities in which she was motivated, engaged, and felt better. A timer went off throughout her day signaling her to complete a mini-survey on her mood, energy, engagement, etc. Her report showed that her best experience was manicuring her fingernails. So the medical team arranged for her to be trained as a manicurist. She began to offer manicures at the hospital and eventually became well enough to be discharged. She went on to live an independent life as a manicurist. For this woman, tending to fingernails and toenails drove her well. This is an amazing story exemplifying the power of motivation when it is intrinsic. The schizophrenic woman found the task of doing manicures to be enjoyable for its own sake, with the immediate reward of a pretty result and a happy customer. It is also likely that manicuring was something she was naturally good at, tending with care to the myriad details of shaping, polishing, and painting nails. By repeating this engaging and enjoyable task over and over again, her motivation and confidence grew by leaps and bounds, allowing her to leave the protective cage of the hospital and embark upon an independent life. The easiest way to help clients drive themselves well is to help them find activities they love to do, which use their strengths and are reinforcing, allowing them to feel better immediately or soon afterward. For example, helping a client find a way to move her body vigorously that she does not want to miss. Or supporting her efforts to discover healthy recipes that she has fun cooking. Or engage in mindfulness practices or before-bed relaxation techniques that she is good at and quickly lift the weight of the day. Unfortunately for most of us, the activities that drive us to wellness are not intrinsically rewarding. We may never learn to love to cook healthful dinners or work out in a gym or stick to sparkling water and crudités without dip at a party. The second most powerful source of motivation that drives human behavior is what Deci and Ryan, developers of self-determination theory, call “integrated regulation.” This type of motivation also comes from within, but relates to doing something because you desire its longer-term outcome, not immediate enjoyment and gratification. For example, your client gets his workouts done because they help him avoid gaining more weight. He goes to the extra effort to cook a healthful dinner to be a role model for his kids. He drinks less wine so that he feels more energetic in the morning. He lifts weights in order to build stronger bones to avoid the osteoporosis that led his grandfather to stoop. This second-best form of motivation requires more diligent attention. Your client needs to make a mindful, conscious choice to take the more difficult path at a given moment for a payoff that is not immediate. The easy choice is beyond tempting. Warming up a pizza rather than cooking a stir-fry from scratch. Skipping the trip to the gym, even if it is in the basement, in favor of sleeping longer. Answering a few more emails even though they are not life threatening and ignoring the dumbbells next to the desk ready for a set of bicep curls or deadlifts. Your client needs to shake her brain out of automatic pilot, summon and appreciate a picture of the desired longer-term gain, and consciously choose the healthier path over the immediate craving. It is clear from the evidence that there is not much point in your client getting off the fence and making another earnest attempt to change unless he has packed his motivational bag with activities that he loves to do for their own sake, or those he believes are can’t-miss investments – leading to positive returns for health and well-being, as well as performance at home and at work. Originally published in ACSM Certified News Coaching Column

In health care, experts are typically in the driver’s seat when it comes to patient care. As wellness coaches, we are keenly aware that this approach is not effective in fostering long-lasting behavioral change. For clients to thrive and achieve optimal health and wellbeing, they must get into the driver’s seat, both in coaching sessions and, ultimately, in life. Why Take the Wheel? According to proponents of the self- determination theory, navigating from behind the wheel is the most natural place for humans. We are self-determining beings, innately inclined towards psychological growth and development. We are happiest and most productive when we are in control of our lives. Richard M. Ryan, Ph.D., and Edward L. Deci, Ph.D., (2000) at the University of Rochester write, “The fullest representations of humanity show people to be curious, vital, and self-motivated. At their best, they are agentic and inspired, striving to learn; extend themselves; master new skills; and apply their talents responsibly. That most people show considerable effort, agency, and commitment in their lives appears, in fact, to be more normative than exceptional, suggesting some very positive and persistent features of human nature” (p. 68). Please Drive Me Yet many of our clients surrender the wheel to others, causing them to become stuck, unable to move toward their desired destination. They take what appears be to an attractive but unproductive detour, seeing it as the “easy way out,” avoiding responsibility for the direction of their own lives. Some choose to ride in the passenger seat, while, even worse, some sit in the back seat. Veering off course, they are no longer true to their own internal compass, and soon feel lost and discouraged. It is not difficult for coaches to differentiate between the drivers and the passengers. We have all seen clients who readily comply, doing what others say is good for them, such as taking their medications or eating broccoli. Others defy by resisting a request or advice. Either way, these clients are not acting autonomously. A coach will often hear: “My doctor is in charge, my genes are in charge, the experts and their prescriptions are in charge, my wife makes the health decisions, my job is in charge.” When other people or external forces are in the driver’s seat, failure is ultimately likely, especially for those who are trying to lose weight, get fit, or adopt any new habit. The best way for our clients to achieve their goals is to help them take their rightful place behind the wheel. We must encourage them to tap into self- motivation, which according to Deci and Ryan, “is at the heart of creativity, responsibility, healthy behavior, and lasting change (p. 9).” Our Core Drives Deci and Ryan’s theory of human motivation asserts that human thriving results from satisfying three motivational drives: the desire to be autonomous (making choices that are true to one’s core, not imposed by others or one’s inner critic); to be competent (using one’s strengths, becoming skilled in life tasks); and to be connected (doing things that support others). These core drives are alive in our clients when it comes to taking good care of their mental and physical health. As coaches, it is our job to help our clients recognize, enliven, and strengthen them. Coaxing Clients into the Driver’s Seat We can learn valuable lessons from the work of Deci and Ryan. First, it is important to acknowledge that, even as coaches, we are not able to motivate our clients. We can only create the conditions in which they will motivate themselves. Fostering choice will increase our clients’ intrinsic motivation. Taking our clients’ perspective not our own, we must encourage our clients to initiate, experiment, and assume responsibility. We must be willing to set limits while still supporting our clients’ autonomy — helping them discern where their rights end and the rights of others begin, while making sure the limits are as wide as possible and allow for choice. In addition, we must help them recruit sources of autonomy support outside the session. We also must be attuned to facilitating feelings of competence, which are crucial for intrinsic motivation. Look, I’m Driving! According to Deci and Ryan, humans have an innate need to feel competent. Yet, we may be driven by a negative belief we have constructed about ourselves and be swayed by our inner critic: “I am a loser or a failure or inadequate because I cannot lose weight, stay on a fitness routine, meditate longer than a few nanoseconds, or avoid doughnuts when they are put on a plate in front of me.” To combat feelings of inadequacy, our clients must be encouraged to be proactive, taking on optimally challenging tasks with our enthusiastic support. Cheering on our clients to success, we enable them to feel competent, energized, and motivated. According to Deci and Ryan, feelings of competence are crucial and, when accompanied by autonomy, lead to increasing accomplishment and learning throughout life. Conclusion If our clients are to achieve optimal health and well being, they must take charge of the wheel, figuring out what works for them as unique individuals so that it becomes part of who they are and non-negotiable. Coaches should encourage clients to act as though they are in the driver’s seat — to be the boss who solicits advice from the experts, then experiments, reflects, adjusts, and experiments again to arrive ultimately at the best choice for them. For example, “I want to walk three days a week because I can fit it in (the five days recommended by my trainer is too much). I am more relaxed and that helps me be more present and productive at work and home. I do not want to miss out on the benefits of my walks and I have backup strategies in place.” Seizing the wheel leads to authenticity and increased self-motivation. It fosters competence. It helps our clients build and sustain the energy and strength to handle whatever life throws their way—leading to a life of thriving and well-being. Originally published in ACSM Certified News Coaching Column

You may be familiar with the concepts of emotional intelligence, how well one handles one’s emotions, or social intelligence, how well one handles social interactions. I would like to propose a new form of intelligence – Body Intelligence or BQ. I collaborated with psychologist James Gavin at Concordia University in Montreal on this concept. We want to convey that how one manages one’s body is also an important form of intelligence, one that is neglected by the field of psychology and by many people in their everyday lives. Body intelligence is about how aware you are of your body (body awareness), what you know about your body (body knowledge), and what you actually do for and with your body (body engagement). This concept may sound new, but it is central to the work of fitness and wellness professionals, as well as to your self-care. Body Awareness Awareness is about being tuned into your body and its signals. It is about being awake to how your body “speaks” to you and what it is telling you, in a whisper or up to a yell. We often have many physical sensations that we ignore and hope will go away. Being conscious of the impacts that certain foods, physical practices, or internal and external stressors have on your body allows you to learn about what promotes health and vitality, and to make adjustments in the moment. The greater your body awareness, the more you are in control of bodily outcomes. Being attuned to the effects of that first cup of coffee gives you a base for choosing or refusing a second cup. Mindfulness, reflection, experimenting, and learning are important paths forward to greater body awareness. Body awareness questions include: 1.    When does your body feel good? Not so good? What do you attribute this to? 2.    What are the best and worst you have ever felt physically? How do you think this came about? 3.    How do you know something is wrong with your body? What signals do  you  interpret? Ways to improve body awareness include body scans throughout our days. Journaling and meditation are wonderful aids as are “stop-and-notice” practices. Cause-effect reflections involve noticing how you are feeling (good or bad) and reflecting on possible influences. Body Knowledge Body knowledge is akin to what scientists call “health literacy.” How much do you know about accepted evidence-based standards and guidelines for healthy bodily functioning? Knowing scientific facts is an important part of health literacy, along with an understanding of the actions needed to diagnose and treat physical concerns. But that is not enough, it is important to know our markers for health such as weight, blood pressure, cholesterol, and blood levels of vitamin D and B12. We also need to know about what our bodies need to make us healthy and increase vitality, what supports our bodies to thrive, including habits of exercise, cooking, and eating, relaxation and recharge, sleep, and stress management. Body knowledge questions include: 1.    What do you think you have to know about your body to take good care of it? 2.    What is your pattern of checking in with health professionals for checkups, issues, or concerns? 3.    What do you know about healthy lifestyles and what is your formula? What should you eat and when? How should  you exercise? How should you sleep, recharge, and destress? 4.    What is your relationship to alcohol, drugs, cigarettes, caffeine, and other addictive substances, and what would you like it to be? Body Engagement Even with high levels of body awareness and knowledge, engagement does not come easily. Engagement is about doing the best thing repeatedly until you need to switch to the next best thing. Engagement is commitment to intelligent action based on what you need at this point in your life. How can you configure your life so that your body fully supports your work in the world? Habits are hard to break and build and that is why the industry of professional health and wellness coaching is being developed. Change that lasts requires a solid foundation of self-motivation and self-efficacy to support our stretching beyond our comfort zones and experimenting with new habits. New habits are not just about engaging in healthy behaviors, but engaging in regular activities to bring body awareness to top of mind. Body engagement questions include: 1.    What habits do you engage in consistently that make your body feel better? 2.    How do you experiment when you are developing a new habit? 3.    What works best for you when you are developing a new habit, for example your approach to setting goals and experimenting? 4.    What life factors help you engage more consistently in a healthy lifestyle? 5.    What new habits do you want to develop as your next step? Conclusion It is time to consider body intelligence as an important domain for your personal development as a fitness and wellness professional, allowing you to thrive and serve as an inspiring role model for your clients and other important people in your life. What is your body IQ score? Originally published in ACSM Certified News Coaching Column